Most Qualified Applicant Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for most qualified applicant comic strips. Discover the best "Most Qualified Applicant" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 2012's comic on:


Tags #discussion, #meetings, #new product ideas, #brainstorm, #no criticising, #less effective, #stem cell technology

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Boss: Let's brainstorm new product ideas. Remember, the most important rule of brainstorming is no criticizing. Dilbert: I'll go first. Research shows that brainstorming is less effective than people working by themselves and later comparing ideas. My idea is to use stem cell technology to design bosses who aren't ignoramuses. Remember, you're not supposed to criticize ideas. But if you decide to do it anyway, it sort of proves my point. I understand whey brainstorming has a bad reputation, but it doesn't stop me from enjoying it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 1989's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #Promotion, #criticism, #mule-stomped, #gopher, #bald guys

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A man at a desk says to Dilbert, "Well, Dilbert, you seem qualified for this promotion, but I have one concern. Since your work would be evaluated by many people . . ." The man asks, "Can you handle criticism?" Dilbert says, "Oh, easily. For example, your toupee looks like a mule-stomped gopher . . ." Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . Turns out it was a trick question." Dogbert says, "Boy, you can't trust those bald guys."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Women, #party, #act, #naturally, #scrutiny

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Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror adjusting his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed watching him. Dogbert says, "The best way to impress women at the party is to just act naturally." Dilbert walks though a party thinking, "Act naturally, act naturally." Back at home, Dilbert says, "Logically, it is impossible to 'act' naturally." Dogbert says, "Most great advice doesn't hold under scrutiny."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #computer, #program, #pick-up line, #mel gibson, #savage

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Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer. Dilbert says to Dogbert, who is sitting next to him, "I've designed this program to generate the most effective pick-up line in the universe." Dilbert continues, "Ha ha! Women will be helpless when they hear my clever opener. . . . And the line is . . ." Dilbert reads on the screen, "Hi. I'm Mel Gibson. Did you see a dingo dog go by here with my shirt?" Dogbert says, "Kiss me, you wicked savage."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #prank, #prototype, #hot line, #phone, #capitalism, #communism, #prank call

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The caption says, "Dogbert plays a reckless prank with Dilbert's prototype 'hot line' to the Kremlin." Dogbert sits at a desk and says into the telephone, "Hey Gorby, did you hear this quote . . ." Dogbert quotes, "Communism is the most painful path between capitalism and capitalism." Dogbert says, "'Fire one?' Ha ha ha . . . What a kidder you are."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #static, #electricity, #building, #thor, #dog, #thunder, #call

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Dogbert shuffles down the hallway thinking, "I can feel the static electricity building . . ." Dogbert shuffles back and forth and his fur begins to stand up. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I most certainly will NOT call you 'Thor, Dog of Thunder.'" Dogbert says, "Prepare to die."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #school, #teacher, #dog, #fourth grade, #coincidence

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Dilbert asks Dogbert, "You what?!" Dogbert replies, "I got a job as a substitute school teacher." Dilbert says, "You aren't qualified to be a teacher. You're a dog." Dogbert replies, "Little kids won't know the difference." Dilbert says, "You do remind me a bit of my fourth grade teacher." Dogbert asks, "Just a coincidence?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 1990's comic on:


Tags #capitalism, #communism, #Dogbert, #dorgy, #popular methods, #rich

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Dogbert: You see, Dorgy, under our capitalist system anybody can become rich. Dogbert: Inheritance and crime are the most popular methods. Dorgy: Which is preferred method? Dogbert: It's best to have your parents do the crime and let you inherit it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #witch, #practicing, #awful, #lawn ornaments, #tacky, #lawn

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Dilbert sits at a restaurant table with a woman. The woman says, "Thanks for asking me out. Most guys get scared when they find out I'm a practicing witch." The woman continues, "Then they say something I don't like and I end up turning them into lawn ornaments." Dilbert replies, "That's awful!" The woman says, "Tell me about it . . . you can't believe how tacky my lawn is now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #deprogram, #control, #dogberts, #cult, #reflexively, #embraces, #ridiculous, #explanation, #dog's, #commands

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Dilbert says to Dawn and Bob the Dinosaurs, "I have a plan to deprogram you from the control of Dogbert's cult." Dilbert continues, "My theory is that the brain reflexively embraces the most ridiculous explanation of reality." Dilbert concludes, "So, we just have to think of something more ridiculous than following a dog's commands." Bob asks, "Like listening to you?"