Move Project Comic Strips - Page 7

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802 Results for Move Project

View 61 - 70 results for move project comic strips. Discover the best "Move Project" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project, #assigned, #maintain status quo, #everybody likes project, #not enough funding

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The Boss stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I'm assigning you to 'The Project That Wouldn't Die.'" The Boss continues, "Everybody likes this project too much to cancel it, but not enough to fund it properly." Dilbert puts his hands over his eyes and says, "Aaarg!!" The Boss continues, "Now go out there and maintain the status quo!" Dilbert says, "You really shouldn't mix honesty with your motivational speeches."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project report, #thick binder, #foot rest, #annual performance, #appraisel

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "Did you see my project report yet? It's in a big thick binder." The Boss replies, "I'm using it as a footrest." Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase and says to Dogbert, "You never want to hear the words 'footrest' the day before your annual performance appraisal."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #iso 9000 project, #hand picked, #manger, #project

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Dilbert sits at a desk and says, "Thank you for coming to the 'ISO 9000' project kick-off meeting." Dilbert continues, "Each of you was hand-picked by your manager for this project because . . ." Dilbert faces a table of strange people and says, "Well . . . never mind why."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quality award, #dishonest parts, #project lost budget, #assume project failed

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert works on a laptop and says to Dogbert, "I have to submit my project for a 'quality' award. I'll need your help on the dishonest parts." Dilbert continues, "The real story is that the project lost its budget because its acronym was similar to a project that was canceled." Dogbert says, "Assume your project would have failed and claim the savings from avoiding it." Dilbert says, "You're spooky."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #contribution to revenue, #project would fail, #attributed, #same project, #equally valuable

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The Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Alice and another worker sit at a conference table. The Boss holds a document and says, "You should all follow Wally's example of how he quantifies his contribution to revenue." Wally explains, "Basically, I assumed my project would fail without me. Therefore all the revenue it generates can be attributed to me." The other worker asks, "Aren't we all on the same project?" Wally answers, "Yes, but evidently we're not all equally valuable."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project cancelled, #rumor has it, #give raise, #come work, #transfer, #pathological liar, #super prowers

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A co-worker says to Dilbert, "Reliable sources say your project will be canceled, Dilbert." The co-worker continues, "You should abandon it now and come work on MY project. When my big promotion goes through next month, I'll transfer you to my group and give you a raise." Dilbert says, "That's very tempting except for the fact you're a pathological liar." The co-worker waves his hands and says, "Be careful what you say - I have super powers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new offcie, #volunteered, #coordinate, #move, #cubicle assignment, #existence, #lord wally, #puppet master, #cubicle

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Wally stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "We're moving to a new office across town. I volunteered to coordinate the move." Wally continues, "I control your cubicle assignment. Nay, your very existence. From now on you will refer to me as 'Lord Wally the Puppet Master.'" Dilbert says, "I don't think it's legal to enjoy your work this much." Wally waves his hands and says, "I banish you to the cubicle closest to your boss!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hands on manager, #move the mouse, #micromanaging, #click it

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Dilbert sits at his computer. The Boss enters and says, "I've decided to be more of a hands-on manager." The Boss stands behind Dilbert and yells, "Move the mouse . . . Up . . . Up . . . Over . . . More . . . Now click it!! Click it!!" The Boss raises his arms over his head and screams, "No!!! You fool!!!" Dilbert says, "This has 'long day' written all over it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #study options, #project zebra, #make recommendations

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The Boss tells Dilbert, "I want you to study our options for Project 'Zebra' and make a recommendation." Both the Boss and Dilbert think, "Translation: 'Read my mind then recommend the option I've already decided on.'" Dilbert answers, "I'll get right on it!" He thinks, "Translation: 'I am doomed. I will go look for naughty pictures on the Internet instead.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #more involved, #project, #roll up sleeves, #work buttons

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Dilbert and Wally sit at a desk. The Boss enters and says, "I've decided to get more involved with your project." Wally and Dilbert think, "Uh-oh." The Boss continues, "I'm just going to roll up my sleeves and pitch in." Trying to unbutton his sleeve cuffs, the Boss says, "Does anybody know how to work these buttons?" Wally covers his eyes with his hands and Dilbert leans back in disgust.