Mri Vending Machine Comic Strips - Page 7

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111 Results for Mri Vending Machine

View 61 - 70 results for mri vending machine comic strips. Discover the best "Mri Vending Machine" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 1996's comic on:


Tags #help shipping dept, #fiscal year, #no inventory

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The Boss, Alice and Dilbert stand next to the coffee machine. The Boss says, "I need everybody to help in the shipping department today." The Boss continues, "Every product that ships before the end of the month gets counted as revenue for the fiscal year. Unfortunately, we don't have inventory." Dilbert, Alice and Wally each have an open box in front of them. The Boss continues, "So we'll ship whatever is lying around, book it as revenue and sort it out later." Wally reaches into his mouth and says, "This one's getting gum."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 1997's comic on:


Tags #software license, #rumble, #prepare for assimilation

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Dogbert and Dilbert sit on the armrest of the couch. Dogbert says, ". . . So you didn't read the software license and you inadvertently agreed to be Bill Gates' towel boy in his huge new house. When do we move?" They hear a rumbling noise and the house shakes. A machine crashes through the wall and says, "Prepare for assimilation." Dilbert says, "The house has come for me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 1997's comic on:


Tags #more work, #feeling unappreciated, #hard working employee, #hourly basis

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Dilbert and Wally stand in front of the coffee machine. Wally says, "The more work I do, the more I'm given." Wally continues, "It doesn't pay to be a talented and hard-working employee." Dilbert asks, "How's it pay to be YOU?" Wally replies, "Not bad on an hourly basis."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #special, #washing, #instructions, #fold, #garment, #star, #cotton, #swathes, #launder, #glacier, #water, #detergent, #glandular, #australian, #nik-nik, #bug, #alive, #delicate, #quick

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Dilbert carries a load of dirty clothes to the washing machine. Dilbert looks at the label on a shirt collar. He reads, "Special washing instructions." Dilbert reads, "Fold the garment in a five-point star and wrap in cotton swathes . . ." Dilbert reads, "Launder only in pure glacier water heated to 98 degrees . . ." Dilbert reads, "For detergent, use only the glandular secretion of the Australian nik-nik bug . . ." Dilbert reads, "In fact, I'm so delicate that you're hurting me right now. Ouch! Ouch! Let me go! Help!" Dilbert stuffs the shirt into the machine." Dilbert says, "The best I can do is to make it quick." A scream comes from the machine.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 1994's comic on:


Tags #broken fax, #copier, #electronic mail, #incompatible software, #lan rewired, #no toner, #technology

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"I tried to fax it but our fax machine is broken." "I would send it by modem but my communication software is incompatible with my new system software upgrade." "No...our electronic mail systems are incompatible." "Mail it?" "I've only got one copy and our copier is out of toner." "Well, normally I could print another one but our LAN is being rewired." "I could just read it to you." "I describe how technology improves our lives by...yeah, I'll hold." "Hello?" "Dang."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 1998's comic on:


Tags #experimental medical procedures, #unicron, #antidepressant, #therapy, #instructions, #will make laugh, #psychology

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The Boss pionts a big ray gun like machine at Alice, Dilbert and Wally. The Boss says, "Our new line of business is testing experimental medical procedures on employees." Alice, Dilbert and Wally look shocked. The Boss says, "Today's test is called the unicorn antidepressant therapy." The Boss fiddles with the machine. The Boss says, "According to the instructions, in a few minutes, I'll see something that will make me laugh." Alice looks upward at a bump beginning to grow on her forhead. Dilbert and Wally put their hands to their brows.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 1998's comic on:


Tags #boss in hospital, #no brain function, #still talking, #double length meetings, #accomplish twice as much

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The boss lies in a hospital bed. The boss is hooked up to complicated looking machine. A docter stands next to the machine. The doctor says, "The accident left him with no brain function whatsoever." The doctor says, "But that hasn't stopped him from talking." Dilbert says, "I'll drive him back to work." Dilbert drives the Boss. The Boss says, "If I double the length of our staff meetings, we'll accomplish twice as much!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 1995's comic on:


Tags #photocopier, #access code, #proprietary information, #same comapny, #ask question, #who's on first

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Dilbert stands at the copier reading a message that says, "Please enter photocopier access code." A woman stands behind him. Dilbert asks, "What's the code for this machine?" The woman replies, "That's proprietary information." Dilbert says, "We work for the same company. My cubicle is down the hall." The woman says, "I have no way of verifying your claim. Anybody could come in here and say that." Dilbert says, "Ask me a question that only an employee of this company could answer." The woman replies, "Okay." The woman asks, "What is the access code for this copier?" Dilbert looks at the woman. Dilbert covers his eyes and sobs. The woman holds up a document and says, "I just have one . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 1996's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #gullible, #spend money, #gullible freinds, #touch tone phone

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Dilbert walks through the house thinking, "Where's Dogbert?" Dilbert sits on the couch and turns the television on with the remote control. He thinks, "Uh-oh." On a tv commercial, Dogbert sits at a desk wearing a sorcerer's hat. Dogbert asks, "Are you gullible? Do you spend money on stupid stuff?" Dogbert continues, "Call the 'Dogbert Gullible Friends Hotline' for help. Only four dollars per minute." On tv, a woman says into a telephone, "Hello, Dogbert. I bought an exercise machine and I'm still lazy." Dogbert says, "Please hold." The woman replies, "Okay." Dogbert says, "Call now, and I'll replace your old television with a new one that looks just like it, while you sleep!" Dogbert continues, "If you don't have a touch tone phone, stay on the line . . . Until you get one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2000's comic on:


Tags #future me, #came to help, #project, #miserable, #sewerage, #got bad assignments

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Dilbert and the future Dilbert are at the Boss's office. Dilbert tells the Boss: "A future me built a time machine and came to help on my project." The future Dilbert tells the Boss: "Hello, you miserable pile of solid sewerage." The future Dilbert turns to Dilbert and says: "You always got bad assignments after today."