Mutter Words Comic Strips - Page 7
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Tim stands at the front of the room. He says, "Welcome to the mandatory Windows NT class." Ted points to an easel with the words "Two weeks" written on it. "Personally, I've only been using a computer for...how long? Anyone?" Ted continues, "But a good trainer can teach any subject." Ted raises his hands over his head and says, "Okay, everyone stand up and stretch!" Ted continues to hold his arms over his head and says, "Or sit there and glare at me. That's good too." Ted holds a box upside down and says, "I forgot to reserve the room with the computers, so I'll use this box." Ted continues, "...and let's say this eraser is the moose." Dilbert sits with Dogbert on the couch and says, "I left when he told us to use our teeth as a keyboard." Dogbert says, "Ooh-yah."
The Boss and Web Mistress Ming are getting coffee. The Boss says, "I'm a nature lover. When I fish, I only do catch-and-release." Web Mistress Ming says to The Boss, "In other words, you torture fish for fun." The Boss sits at his desk alone and thinks, "I wonder why everything I do sounds bad when it's put in other words."
Alice says, "What is this strange and beautiful feeling inside of me?!" Smiling broadly, Alice says, "Waves of ecstasy are pulsing through my soul." The Boss thinks to himself, "This is why I only give positive reinforcement once a year." Alice's voice continues, "I'm all tingly!"
Dilbert, Alice and Wally are eating lunch. Alice says, "I experienced something called positive reinforcement today." Alice continues, "I'm addicted to it now... But it's wearing off... Must get more..." Alice says, "Say something nice about me!" Dilbert chews his lunch as Wally says, "For a crazy woman you don't drool much."
Alice and a businessman sit at a bar. Alice says, "This is strictly business, right? We're going to talk about your company's product." The businessman raises his glass to Alice and says, "I bet I can drink for chardonnay than you can." Later, Alice's hair is completely dishevelled and both Alice and the businessman are slumped in their chairs, totally drunk. Alice says, "You're a hanshum man and so ish your twin bruver." The business man burps loudly.
Tags #the boyfriend project, #progress, #seen in public, #slimmed down, #toned up, #changed clothes, #no combover, #nobel prize, #wrestiling, #party, #cocktail party, #feeding words, #socializing, #mistakes, #speech, #control
Caption reads: "The Boyfriend Project." Alice holds up a "Before" picture of her boyfriend in front of him. He is now strong, lean, and completely, bald. She says, "You're making good progress." Alice's boyfriend continues to flex his muscles as she says, "I'm ready to be seen with you in public. But don't do any talking." Alice and her boyfriend are seen talking to another couple at a party. Her boyfriend says, "...And that's why I think there should be a Nobel Prize for wrestling." Alice leans over and whispers in his ear, "I said..."
The Boss introduces a man outfitted in a burglar suit, holding a sack. The Boss says, "This is our new CEO, Rufus T. Skwerrel. His first job was trailer park burglar. The Boss continues, "But thanks to a series of mergers and acquisitions, not to mention suspicious accounting, here we are." The Boss asks Rufus, "Would you like to say a few words?" Rufus pulls a knife out on Asok and says, "Wallet and watch."
The Boss addresses a meeting, "Wally has been researching Greek words to name our new product." Wally says, "All I have is Zeus. And Parthenon. And the word 'Greek' itself." Wally continues, "I understand they have a word for sports even too. I'm trying to track that down."
"The expense cutters award goes to Wally for drastically lowering his cell phone bill." "Wally, would you like to say a few words to the group?" "I lost my phone last month. Hey, thanks for the hundred dollars!"
Dilbert: I finished the prototype for the wireless hassock-buddy. It uses GPS navigation to stalk its owner and demand that he rest his feet. Today I learned the words "stalk" and "AAAGH" In my powerpoint presentations.