Named In Rats Honor Comic Strips - Page 7
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117 Results for Named In Rats Honor
View 61 - 70 results for named in rats honor comic strips. Discover the best "Named In Rats Honor" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday November 09,
1996
Tags #move slowly, #online relationships, #yipe, #madam cruella
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a desk. Dilbert says, "You have to move slowly with these online relationships. I'll ask her what she likes to do for fun." Dilbert and Dogbert look shocked. Dilbert says, "YIPE!" Dilbert says, "You'd think that a woman named Madame Cruella would compensate by being extra nice."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday December 18,
1996
Tags #ratbert the consulatant, #computers, #highly exuberant, #general protection, #flying lessons
Transcript
Ratbert stands on Alice's desk and says, "I don't know much about computers so I compensate by being highly exuberant." Ratbert shouts, "Yes!! Yes!! Computers!! Wahoo!!!" Ratbert looks at the monitor and says, "Hey look! It's not my fault; it's some guy named 'general protection.'" Alice reaches for Ratbert and says, "It's time for your flying lessons."
Tuesday March 04,
1997
Tags #business startegy, #example, #good strategy, #learn, #panty hose, #ratbert the consultant, #walmarts
Transcript
Alice, Ratbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Ratbert says, "'Wal-Mart's' business strategy was very successful. You can learn from their example." Alice asks, "Does their strategy involve sitting around and making irrelevant comparisons to other companies?" Ratbert replies, "All I know for sure is that they don't let rats try on all the pantyhose in the store." Wally says, "Good strategy."
Friday May 30,
1997
Tags #cloud of doom, #transfer, #new host body, #starts tim down, #Dogbert, #director special projects, #doom
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a stool and tells Dilbert, "The only way to get rid of your cloud of doom is to transfer it to a new host body." The cloud hovers over Dilbert's head. Dogbert says, "I will accomplish this with the help of your pointy-haired boss and a clueless co-worker named Tim." Dogbert straps Tim to a table and says, "We're secure. Begin transfer." The Boss looks at a document and says, "Tim, your new job will be director of special projects." The cloud moves toward Tim.
Saturday July 19,
1997
Tags #famous person, #sandra bullock, #kevin spacey, #eats bacon, #kevin who eats bacon, #one degree away, #close to fascinating
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his PC. Ratbert says, "Give me the name of any famous person." Dilbert says, "Sandra Bullock." Ratbert puts his hands to his temples, closes his eyes and thinks. He says, "Sandra Bullock was in a movie with Kevin Spacey... and Kevin Spacey eats bacon." Ratbert says, "See that? Everyone on Earth is only one degree from someone named Kevin who eats bacon!" Dilbert says, "That is SO close to being fascinating."
Saturday January 03,
1998
Tags #nobel prize, #garbage industry, #miss the smells, #paper plate
Transcript
Ratbert sits on a trash can and says to the garbage man, "Now that you've won the Nobel prize, I guess you'll leave the garbage industry." The garbage man says, "No." He says, "I'd miss the action. I'd miss the smells... the sights... the people..." Ratbert adds, "The rats." A woman in a bathrobe comes outside and says, "I accidentally threw out a paper plate last week. Would you look for it?" The garbage man whispers, "I'm kidding about the people part."
Sunday July 11,
1993
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #dating, #intimidation
Transcript
Dilbert bends over tying his shoelace. He tells Dogbert, "Maybe I'm unlucky in love because I'm so knowledgeable about science that I intimidate people." Dilbert continues, "Their intimiidation becomes low self-esteem, then they reject me to protect their egos." Dogbert says, "Occam's razor." They walk through the park. Dilbert asks, "What is 'Occam's razor'?" Dogbert answers, "A guy named Occam had a rule about the world." Dogbert continues, "Basically, he said that when there are multiple explanations for something, the simplest explanation is usually correct." They sit down on some rocks. Dogbert continues, "The simplest explanation for your poor love life is that you're immensely unattractive." Dilbert says, "Maybe Occam had another rule that specifically exempted this situation, but his house burned down with all his notes. Then he forgot." Dogbert says, "Occam's razor." Dilbert asks, "I'm an idiot?" Dogbert replies, "I don't think we can rule it out at this point."
Saturday May 16,
1998
Tags #optimistic assumptions, #revenue target, #visited by alien, #our new pordcut, #autopsy video, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of a line graph titled, "$". Dilbert says, "I had to make some optimistic assumptions to meet the revenue target." The Boss is sitting behind Dilbert, looking at the graph. Dilbert continues, "In week three, we're visited by an alien named D'utox Inag who offers to share his advanced technology." The Boss asks, "Then do we use his technology to design our new product?" Dilbert replies, "No, we kill him and sell the autopsy video."
Sunday January 02,
1994
Tags #brain overload, #experiences perceived, #garbageman, #illusions, #inability to percieve, #paths, #physics, #possibility, #rat can't conceive, #rats, #time and motion
Transcript
Ratbert: What is reality, mister garbage man? Garbage man: are you sure you're ready for that, Ratbert? Ratbert: My mind is a blank slate! Garbageman: Okay...time and motion are just illusions created by your inability to perceive everything at once. Everything that is possible as a path you simply choose the path you wish to perceive. Th only things you can't change are the experiences you've already perceived. Ratbert: My head hurts. Garbageman: The contents of a garbage can are determined by what path I choose to perceive, not by what somebody else chose to discard. Ratbert: Brain overload! Hey theres a new VCR in here! Garbageman: Cmon, Im expecting some great videos in the Obriens can.
Sunday January 08,
1995
Tags #floor warden, #fire, #leadership, #leader, #uniformed decisions, #huge stock options, #risking death, #high rise inferno, #fallen co workers, #stock options, #cpr
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss peers around the corner and says, "Congratulations!" The Boss continues, "You've been named 'floor warden.'" The Boss explains, "In the event of a fire we'll rely on your leadership to get us out safely." Dilbert says, "Let me see if I understand this . . ." Dilbert continues, "YOU're the leader when it involves uninformed decisions in return for huge stock options." Dilbert continues, "But I'M the leader when it comes to rishing death in a highrise inferno while you scramble over the ashen backs of fallen co-workers." Dilbert asks, "What makes you think your life is worth more than mine?" The Boss replies, "I've got stock options and you're a floor warden." Dilbert says, "Don't expect any CPR."