Night Mare Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

144 Results for Night Mare

View 61 - 70 results for night mare comic strips. Discover the best "Night Mare" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 1993's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #Dilbert, #office, #man, #computer, #phone

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands behind a broken desk chair and says into the phone, "My chair is broken. Can you send a new one from the warehouse?" A man at a desk replies, "No can do, my friend. All we have is chairs with deluxe armrests. They're only for managers who are one level higher than you." The man says, "What do I suggest? I dunno . . . Maybe take some classes at night. I'm sure you can get promoted eventually."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #felt like kissing, #first date 85%, #kiss good night, #third date, #wearing sweat pants

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "This was our third date, Liz. Tradition demands that you kiss me or give me the 'let's be friends' talk." LIZ: "No, our first date only counted as 85 % because we were wearing our sweat pants." DILBERT: "I'm 15 % short?!!" LIZ: "It's too bad, because I really felt like kissing."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 1994's comic on:


Tags #areodynamic, #blow on me, #handy, #ratbert, #smart, #attractive

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: I may not be smart and I may not be attractive... But I am Aerodynamic!! Dilbert: that night come in handy in a minute. Ratbert: Blow on me.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 1994's comic on:


Tags #final design, #zebra, #fisnih on time, #canceled project, #month ago, #legal, #binder, #dont travel

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Here's the final design for Project 'Zebra'. I worked day and night for weeks to finish it on time. The Boss: I canceled that project a month ago, I meat to tell you. Dilbert: In some countries it would be legal to kill you with this binder, The Boss: Thats why I don't travel.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 1994's comic on:


Tags #classes, #get mba, #big name school, #knowledge, #not prestige, #tonys, #house, #mbas, #babe ratio

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm going to take classes at night and get an MBA." "I don't need a big-name school. I'm in this for knowledge, not prestige." "How about 'Tony's House of MBA's'?" "The babe ratio is better at 'MBA-O-RAMA'."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 1995's comic on:


Tags #writing email, #protest new policy, #empty trash, #highly paid engineers, #unproductive tsak, #inventing the future, #quality faire

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally stands behind Dilbert's desk. Dilbert says, "I'm writing an e-mail to protest the new policy of making the employees empty their own trash at night." Dilbert continues, "It's stupid to have highly paid engineers doing unproductive tasks when we could be inventing the future!" Wally asks, "Are you coming to the 'Quality Faire?'" Dilbert answers, "No, this will take another hour."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 1995's comic on:


Tags #alice sits boss, #approve expense voucher, #creature, #eats snacks, #security guard, #problem

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of Alice's desk. Alice has a crown on her head and is holding a document in her hand. She says, "I will approve your expense voucher on one condition." Alice continues, "You must slay the creature who stalks the office at night and eats our hidden snacks." Dilbert holds a baseball bat in one hand and opens a drawer with the other. A mouse peers out of the drawer. Dilbert says to him, "It has to be either you or the security guard." The mouse answers, "Slay him first and see if the problem stops."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #dream, #hillbillies, #lint, #lint farm, #stranger than fiction

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert joins Dogbert at the breakfast table. He says, "I had the weirdest dream last night . . ." Dogbert replies, "You probably think I want to hear all about it." Dilbert says, "I was kidnapped by hillbillies and forced to produce pocket lint on their illegal lint farm." Dilbert pictures himself hanging from the ceiling with tubes connected to his pockets. Dilbert continues, "They fed me only flannel and water, and mined my pockets twice a day." Dilbert is hooked up to a machine. Dilbert says, "Thank God it was only a dream . . ." Dogbert says, "Only a dream? Maybe you should check your pockets." Dilbert puts his hands in his pockets and screams, "Lint!!" Dogbert looks at the reader and says, "Stranger than fiction."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #bizarre, #dream, #cheerleading, #outfit, #glue, #miniature, #horses, #married, #pressure

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sees a woman and thinks, "Oh no, it's Helena. I had a bizarre dream about her last night." Helena says, "Hi, Dilbert." Dilbert thinks, "I'm always afraid that somehow people know when they've been in my dream." Helena says, "Gee . . . Seeing you reminds me of something . . . But I can't quite put my finger on it . . ." Helena continues, "Hmm . . . It was something bizarre." Dilbert thinks, "She knows." Beads of sweat fly off his forehead. Dilbert covers his eyes and cries, "Stop it! Stop it! I'm sorry I made you wear a cheerleading outfit and glue miniature horses to the couch!!" Dilbert says, "There - it's out. The pressure is lifted . . . I can live again . . ." Helena says, "Oh, now I remember -- I was wondering why you've never been married. But now I understand."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #pity, #date, #beauty, #grace, #attracted, #Dogbert, #standards, #woman, #dating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Heather, there's something I must tell you." Heather says, "Stop . . . Stop right there. I know what you're going to say." Heather continues, "Although it's our first date, you find yourself very attracted to me." Heather continues, "You are stunned by my grace and beauty, and you hope we can be more than friends." Heather continues, "Let me set you straight, Dilbert: this is a pity date. My standards are too high for you." Dilbert says, "Actually, I just wanted to tell you that your dress was tucked into the back of your pantyhose all night." Heather looks shocked. Back at home, Dogbert asks, "How was your date?" Dilbert replies, "Man, it doesn't get any better than that!"