Not Nice To Meet Comic Strips - Page 7
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Share November 16, 1990's comic on:
Share January 24, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert and several men sit in the audience. A man says, "At the 'Scientist Anti-Defamation League' we must dispel society's notion that scientists are always male." The speaker continues, "Unfortunately, our membership is totally male because all of you joined just to meet women. Any ideas?" One man says, "Maybe we could merge with the 'Aerobic Instructor Anti-Defamation League.'"
Share May 22, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert: Come meet my new pet turtle. Dilbert: Boy, that is one ugly-looking turtle. What kind is it? Dogbert: He's a, "snappy comeback turtle," but not a good one. Turtle: Oh yeah?!! Ugly, am I? Well, uh... so's my mother.
Share May 30, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert stands at the counter in a retail store. The salesclerk says, "This Sony Sniffman makes a nice gift." The clerk continues, "You can play the smells of your favorite stars!" The salesperson hands Dilbert the Sniffman and says, "Try it - it's Donny Osmond's gym bag." Dilbert asks, "Is it 'new Donny' or classic?"
Share July 23, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table. Dogbert asks, "What makes you think you can win the stand-up comedy competition?" Dilbert replies, "It's just a matter of writing good jokes." Dilbert says, "Here's one - - 'Why do women go to the restroom in pairs?'" Dogbert asks, "Why?" Dilbert says, "Because they're stapled to the chicken! Hee-hee!" Dogbert says, "It's been nice knowing you."
Share July 30, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert sits across from a desk and says, "I've decided to become a pop psychologist. I need your help to make my lecture video." A man in sunglasses replies, "You came to the right place, babe. First, you need a new look." Dogbert is wearing a pony tail of false hair and a pointed brassiere. Dogbert says, "Nice try, but frankly, this look didn't work too well for Madonna either."
Share July 03, 2012's comic on:
Dogbert: I'm starting a pump-and-dump newsletter for thinly traded stocks. It's legal as long as I disclose my holdings and my bad stock picks can be attributed to honest mistakes. Meet my stock picker. Coworker: All shhtocks go up!
Share October 10, 1991's comic on:
The caption says, "Dilbert lands in Elbonia without his suitcase." Dilbert lands head-first in the mud. Dogbert, who is holding a rifle and wearing a miter, sits on the back of an Elbonian. The Elbonian says, "You bagged a nice piece of luggage, M'Lord." A suitcase with a hole in the side of it lies in the mud. As they drag the suitcase behind them, Dogbert says, "I like to think this helps maintain the delicate balance of nature." The Elbonian says, "Yes, sire."
Share October 30, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert lies on a couch and a therapist sits next to the couch taking notes. Dilbert says, ". . . My dog started charging me to pet him . . ." Dilbert continues, "I haven't hugged Mom since I was twelve . . . My dates are always disasters . . . I just need to touch somebody." Dilbert holds out his hand and says, "Good session, Doc. Thanks." The psychologist says, "Nice try."
Share November 12, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "As my dog, I think you should be doing more to help me meet attractive single women during our walks." Dilbert continues, "Try to be cuter, and look more pet-able." Dilbert continues, "And it's not funny when you do your impression of a frothing mad dog every time somebody walks by." Dogbert replies, "That's my John Sununu impression."