Office Too Far Comic Strips - Page 7
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Catbert asks The Boss, "Why aren't you signed up for the 401K?" The Boss says to Catbert, "I'd never be able to run that far." The Boss says to Catbert, "I did a 10K wheelchair race once. The guy who pushed me still has whip marks."
Dilbert approaches Tina the Tech Writer. A piece of paper sticks to his hand. He says, "I think we have snails in the office." Dilbert holds the sheet of paper up and it appears to have something on it. Dilbert says, "There's a slime trail on everything." Dilbert exits and Tina stands on her desk chair to reach a giant pump labelled "Hand Lotion." Tina thinks, "That might be the second sign that I'm addicted to hand lotion."
A Hollywood type says into the telephone, "Hello.. Yes, I'd like to buy a rave review for my new movie." Dogbert, on the other end of the line, replies, "Can you afford the 'suspenseful thrill ride' or would you like something more in the 'delightful' price range." The man responds, "I'm releasing it on New Year's Day, Can you give me a price for 'Best Comedy So Far This Year?'"
The Boss says to Dilbert, "I want to move you to another cubicle but my office moving budget is shot." The Boss continues, "So I'm going to transfer you to Elbonia and then back so I can use the relocation budget." An Elbonian is on the phone. He relays a message to Dilbert: "He says the relocation budget is shot but you can mail yourself home."
Dilbert says to The Boss, "We sure have a lot of vacant offices since the layoffs." Dilbert continues, "I wouldn't mind having a nice office with an actual door. Why don't you let me have one?" The Boss responds, "Okay, take one." Dilbert shakes with anger and exclaims, "STOP TOYING WITH ME!"
Dilbert sits in his new office. He thinks, "Aah.. Even the desk feels better when you have your own office." Dilbert leans back in his chair and thinks, "The fluorescent lights are warmer and brighter." Dilbert is sleeping in his underwear on top of his desk. The Boss says to Carol, "Remind me to teach him when to close the door."
Catbert says to Dilbert, "The other engineers are complaining because you have a private office." Dilbert responds, "Maybe you should explain to each of them that life isn't fair." Dilbert is back in his old cubicle. He thinks, "Yeah, I guess it IS easier to explain it to one person."
A vendor says to Dilbert, "Our new version is a step backward in quality and reliability." The vendor continues, "We're counting on your irrational need to have the latest version of every software product." Dilbert responds, "I hate your weasel guts... but I'll take one for home and one for the office."
Wally says to The Boss and Dilbert, "I'm in a battle of wills with a guy who lets all of his calls roll over to voicemail." Wally continues, "I do that too, so all day long we trade messages saying, 'Call me,' and then we ignore the incoming calls." The Boss suggests, "Maybe he's out of the office." Wally responds, "No, I can hear him. He's one cube over from me."
Carol enters The Boss' office and says, "The feng shui in your office is terrible." The Boss replies, "It is?" Carol says, "That hum... it's the sound of your energy being drained into the internet." Dilbert asks Carol, "Who told him that his computer fan is killing him?"