Old Coworker Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for old coworker comic strips. Discover the best "Old Coworker" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #history, #lying, #pride, #selfishness, #worried, #recession, #frightening, #crimean war, #cold stench, #death, #use moisturizer, #old enough, #experience, #education, #medical

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Topper Asok says, "This recession frightens me." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "During the Crimean war, all I had to eat was the cold stench of death!" Asok says, "You don't seem old enough to?" Topper says, "I use moisturizer!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee, #stock tip, #ridicule, #criticism, #hair cut, #old fashioned, #doubt, #annoyed

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Man says, "I have a great stock tip for you, Alice." Alice says, "And I should trust you because you're an expert on all things except your own ridiculous hair?" Man says, "I also know a lot about old cars." Alice says, "Shocker."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coworker, #favor, #hairless potter, #harry potter, #drinking coffee, #magic, #social convention, #awe, #excitement, #baldemort

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Coworker says, "Wally, will you do me a favor?" Wally says, "Absolutely. What are friends for?" Wally says, "After all, you'd do a favor for me if I asked, right?" Coworker says, "Um? sure." Wally says, "Of course you would." Wally says, "So do me a favor and don't ask me to do any favors." Coworker says, "Wow. Okay. I did not see that coming." Asok says, "You're like a wizard who uses the rules of social convention as if they are magic." Asok says, "You're Hairless Potter!" Wally says, "Don't tell Baldemort."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #angry, #annoyed, #memory, #coworker, #violence, #slam face on smartphone, #front of mind

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Alice says, "You didn't answer my e-mail." Coworker says, "I don't check e-mail often." Alice says, "The whole point of e-mail is that you check it often." Alice says, "Are you an idiot or some sort of digital sociopath?" Coworker says, "Sometimes I don't remember to check it." Alice says, "You seem like a visual learner, so let me show you how to keep e-mail in the front of your mind." Alice says, "Is this your smartphone?" Coworker says, "Yes." BAM! Alice says, "Now it's in the front of your mind. Get it?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #feel empowered, #forgot buy in, #poorly conceived project, #destroy from inside, #not empowered, #old system

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The Boss says, "I want all of you to feel empowered on this project." Dilbert says, "You forgot to get our buy- in before you empowered us." The Boss says, "I'll get your buy-in later." Wally says, "It's far too late for that." Wally says, "I'm going to use my empowerment to destroy this poorly conceived project from the inside!" The Boss says, "Don't do that!" Dilbert says, "So... now you're saying we're not empowered to do what we think is best?" Alice says, "Can we go back to our old system where we're afraid to make decisions and you're never available?" Alice says, "Your eyes say, 'Yes.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #use old technology, #get funded, #raise issue, #any issues, #old technology, #works fine, #new technology buggy

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Alice: Our pointy-haired boss is insisting we use old technology because he thinks it will be easier to get it funded. "You should raise that issue at the meeting." "We'll back you up." Dilbert: "Absolutely." The Boss: "Are there any issues?" Asok: "You're making us use old technology just to make your job easier." "Does anyone else think that?" "No." "No." "No." "The old technology works fine." "New technology is too buggy." "What was that?!!" "It's just something we do."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tall pants, #old fashioned, #hairpiece, #glove on tail, #money to treasury, #first primary

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Dogbert: I'm wearing my tall pants and my old-fashioned hairpiece because I'm running for president. "I put a glove on my tail so I can shake 50% more hands." "My policy is to give all the money in the treasury to Iowans. But I might flip-flop after the first primary."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #old job, #better than here, #great company, #fired, #quit, #moron

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"At my old job, we did everything better than we do it here." Alice: "They sound like a great company. It's no wonder they fired you." "They didn't fire me. I quit to come work here." Alice: "So, your point is that you're a moron?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interview candidate, #isn't too old, #illegal ask, #telltale signs, #explosive ear hair

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Interview this candidate and make sure he isn't too old. "It's illegal to ask his age." "Just stall until you see the telltale signs of E.E.H.G." "E.E.H.G.?" "Explosive ear hair growth." "Hmm. No wrinkles. But maybe he uses moisturizers and stays out of the sun." "Wait...wait..." "Can't...hold out any...longer." "GAAA!!! Look away! Look away!" "Ha!" "Then I waited and waited...What?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #old computer, #give to school, #hard drive, #tax accounting, #night mare, #school playground, #old refrigerator, #better idea

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Dilbert is standing in the boss's office. Dilbert says, "How do I get rid of my old computer?" The boss says, "Why don't you give it to a school?" Dilbert says, "Well, it would take me a week to find someone to take it." Dilbert continues, "The hard drive is broken and it has no software." Dilbert says, "And it would cause a tax accounting nightmare." The boss says, "Maybe you could leave it on the school playground at night." The boss continues, "That's what I did with my old refrigerator." Dilbert is standing by the playground swings, putting his computer on top of a refrigerator. Dilbert, standing by Dogbert, says, "What I hate most is that I didn't have a better idea."