One Hour Long Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for one hour long comic strips. Discover the best "One Hour Long" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #food werewolf, #too long, #no food, #werewolf

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Alice: We'd better wrap up this meeting because Jenny is a food werewolf. Dilbert: What? Alice: When she goes too long without eating, she turns into a werewolf. It might be too late. Werewolf: YA THINK?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #monsters, #supernatural beings, #beware of bogeyman, #bad parenting, #one over par, #everyhole

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Asok: My mother always told me to beware the bogeyman. Dilbert: That was bad parenting. There's no such thing as the bogeyman. Boss: I was one over par on every hole. Let me tell you all about it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #ignorance (knowledge), #fire wally, #can't risk, #zeberpupin system, #only one, #program, #business

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Boss: I want to fire Wally, but I can't risk it. He says he's the only one who can program the Zeberpupin System. Catbert: Are you sure that's true? Boss: It must be. No one else has even heard of it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #office workers, #planning, #assignments, #entre schedule, #next assignment

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Wally: I spent all of last week planning how to get everything done this week. Boss: Add one more thing. Wally: Okay, but I'll need to replan my entire schedule. Boss: How long will that take? Wally: Until you give me the next assignment.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apology, #bald, #business ethics, #company lawyer, #discrimination, #lawyers, #nearsighted, #one billion, #short, #statue

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Lawyer: I've been asked to settle your claim of discrimination against the company. Your complaint is that they discriminate against you for being short, bald, and nearsighted. I might have a conflict of interest, but my final offer is one billion dollars. Wally: Plus a statue and an apology. Company lawyer.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #collaboration tools, #human contact, #internet & world wide web, #judegment, #long term goal, #meetings, #suite of tools

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Wally: I'm designing a suite of internet collaboration tools. It's part of my long-term goal to eliminate all forms of direct human contact. Co-worker: That's messed up. Wally: You're exactly what I'm trying to avoid.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #confusing, #multiple pages, #public speaking, #real words, #small text, #unpersuasive, #computer, #desk, #no one can read, #technology

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Dilbert: Do you want me to put the chart on one page, which would make the text too small for you to see? Or do you prefer a multiple-page approach that is confusing and unpersuasive? Boss: It's probably better if no one can read it. Dilbert: I won't bother using real words.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #stock, #broker, #investor, #chocolate, #coins, #call, #hour

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Dilbert says, "Ahem . . . I think I'll call my stock broker . . . I'm an investor, you know." Dogbert says, "Ooh . . . I'm impressed." Dilbert says into the telephone, "What? No profits yet? I'll call back in an hour." Dilbert says, "I wonder if this is a bad time to be in chocolate coins."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #therapy, #unethical, #Dilbert, #biological clock, #ugly, #one, #ticking, #away

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Dilbert lies on a couch in a psychiatrist's office. The therapist says, "Frankly, I'm tired of hearing your little problems . . ." The psychologist says, "I hate my job . . . I haven't had a decent date in a year . . . My biological clock is ticking away . . ." Dilbert asks, "Would it be unethical to date one of your patients?" The doctor replies, "Yes, especially an ugly one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #annual, #review, #accomplishment, #invention, #automatic, #dentures, #long, #pause, #asleep

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Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror tying his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed watching. Dilbert says, "My boss is giving me my annual review today." Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss reads and document and says, "Your biggest accomplishment was the invention of automatic dentures?" Dilbert replies, "They can eat while you're asleep." Dilbert thinks, "This long pause could mean anything."