Only One On Earth Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Only One On Earth

View 61 - 70 results for only one on earth comic strips. Discover the best "Only One On Earth" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #too much work, #solution, #coffee swilling squirrel, #work faster, #time stands still, #slow, #too lsow, #hyper

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Carol, I give you far too much work, Theres only one solution. I hired a coffee swilling beaver to show you how to work faster. Squirrel: when I watch you, its as if time stands still.

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Hello! Hello! "Let me see that. I'm an engineer." "Hmm...It might be a bad signal or maybe a bad phone. There's only one way to isolate the problem." "Go up on the roof and see if you have reception there." "Dang. Nothing." "Uh-oh. The door is locked. No other way to get down...No one can hear me yell and my phone doesn't work." "My only hope is to jump into that open garbage bin in the alley." "That'll teach him to keep his battery charged."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job applaicants, #new batch, #500 qualified people, #who wants job, #pummel each applicat, #very soft itmes, #harder materials, #sugar doughnut, #their attitudes, #upbeat

View Transcript

Transcript

CatBert: "The new batch of job applicants is more desperate than usual." "Excellent." The Boss: "Five hundred qualified people applied for this position." "Who wants this job the most?" "I plan to pummel each applicant with a variety of objects, beginning with very soft items." "Then I'll gradually move toward harder materials until only one person is left." "I'll begin with this soft sugar doughnut." "ZING. PIFF!" "Thank you." CAtBert: "How are theur attitudes?" "Refreshingly upbeat!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complimenting people, #flattery, #indirect, #made car, #make his own car, #new car, #parking lot

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I saw you new car in the parking lot. It's nice. Topper: Thank you. Dilbert: I'm complimenting the people who made your car, not you. Topper: Well, I guess only one of us knows how to make his own car.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #advertising, #deception, #graphic design, #graphic designers, #marketing, #a_b testing, #design options, #skill set, #random behavior, #talent, #secrets, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Graphic Designer. Dilbert: I'll do some A-B testing with the design options you provided. Interestingly, the fact that you can't predict which design will perform best means your skill set is mostly random behavior that you package as talent. Designer: This works better if i'm the only one who knows that.

Tina Strings Economic Words Together

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Strings Economic Words Together - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #economist, #economy, #deception, #jargon, #prediction, #stock market, #recession, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally The Chief Economist. Tina: My interview with you is live on the website. Nothing you said made sense, so I strung together a bunch of economic jargon and called it your forecast. One Month Later. Computer: Only one economist accurately predicted when this bubble would burst. Dilbert: Uh-oh.

Temperature Court

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Temperature Court - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thermostat, #temperature, #hot, #cold, #office, #office workers, #disagreement

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Welcome to temperature court. One of you has frozen appendages and one of you is burning up. But only one temperature can rule the office. I rule that the thermostat must be set at exactly 72 degrees. Dilbert: Noooo!!! Alice: Shoot me!

He Didn't Deny It

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
He Didn't Deny It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rumor, #conspiracy, #sources, #vetting, #accusation, #guilt, #innocence

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: How conspiracy theories happen. Catbert: I've heard from multiple sources that you deleted Alice's files on the server. Dilbert: Your multiple sources all heard it from Alice. That is only one source. Catbert: He didn't deny it. Narrator: Continued...

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #productivity, #progress, #project, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I finished my project! Dilbert: Shhhh! Don't let anyone hear you say that. Only one of two things can come of it. Either you'll get more work or you'll get fired for not having enough work. Asok: Then how does anyone ever finish a project around here? Wally: We don't. We manipulate our boss into adding features so our projects are never complete. Asok: Is that hard to do? Dilbert: Not as hard as you might hope. Asok: How do you like the prototype so far? Boss: It needs a red button and some cooling fins.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bugs, #business, #fire, #office, #office workers, #quit, #system

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: ned won 't return any of my messages. ceo: fire him the boss: i can't do that. the boss holding hands out: ned is indispensable. ceo: what makes him indispensable? the boss: he's the only one who knows how to fix bugs in our system. ceo: what system? the boss: i don't know. ceo: then how do you know he's indispensable? the boss: ned told me. ceo: fire him anyway. dilbert: ned quit two years ago.