Opinions Count Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

95 Results for Opinions Count

View 61 - 70 results for opinions count comic strips. Discover the best "Opinions Count" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 2012's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #employee survey, #respect and dignity, #feel gross, #disgust, #paper towel

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: The first question on the employee survey is... Do you feel you are valued and treated with respect and dignity? Dilbert: Well, let me put it this way... you know how sometimes you step in something gross and then you have to wipe it off your shoe with a paper towel? Catbert: So... you feel like the paper towel? Dilbert: No, the paper towel has a purpose. Catbert: So... you feel like the gross stuff on the shoe? Dilbert: No, the gross stuff gets to leave. I feel like a shoe that has gross stuff on the bottom and a sweaty foot shoved all the way to the end of its sole. Catbert: I'll leave this one blank. Dilbert: Because my opinions don't matter?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2012's comic on:


Tags #executives, #public opinion, #feel engaged, #meeting, #appearences, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Before I make my decision, I'd like to ask for your opinions. It's supposed to make you feel "engaged." Dilbert: And you actually plan to listen to us? CEO: I'm hoping it will look that way on the outside.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2013's comic on:


Tags #charitable organizations, #have a dream, #recycled software, #busy week, #recycled, #old software, #math programs

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I had a busy week. I recycled all of our old software and donated the zeroes and ones to math programs in poor towns. My dream is that someday every child will be able to count to one.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 2013's comic on:


Tags #fantasy, #emotional connection, #fantasizing

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We need to form an emotional connection with our customers. Wally: Does fantasizing count? CEO: Trade seats with me. Wally: I'm doing it right now.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2008's comic on:


Tags #functioned as incubator, #innovations, #contributions, #incubating brains

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: this week I functioned as an incubator of innovations for contributions to the value chain. To the observer, it looks as if I am doing nothing, but on the inside, I am incubating my brains out. The Boss: It doesn't count unless it hurts. Wally: It hurts plenty.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2008's comic on:


Tags #computer, #dont breathe, #help, #rat, #software, #software consulatant, #trying to help, #technology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert the software consultant RatBert: Don't let your lack of knowledge interfere with my brilliance. Don't touch the keyboard, don't offer opinions and don't breathe so loudly that I can hear it. Ratbert: There. I've either configured your software or erased something called a bios.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 2008's comic on:


Tags #count on cooperation, #scent of failure, #bath, #submerged, #fix it

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Can I could on your cooperation for the next phase of the project?" Woman says, "No." Woman says, "You emit the musky scent of failure. Women can detect that sort of thing." Dilbert says, "Would a bath fix it?" Woman says, "How long are you willing to stay submerged?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2010's comic on:


Tags #support group, #gullible, #tricking, #leader, #controlling, #uniforms

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "I'm forming a support group for people who always make bad choices." Ratbert says, "Count me in!" Dogbert says, "Ratbert, I want you to organize the whole thing for me." Ratebrt says, "I'd like that, and I don't know why." Dogbert says, "I want everyone to wear uniforms and chant my name." Ratbert says, "Is it just me, or does this keep getting better?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2010's comic on:


Tags #urban legends, #reality, #check up, #underwear, #doctor, #exam, #social security number, #tic tacs, #pills, #trick, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I can't tell the difference between urban legends and reality." Doctor says, "I'll need your social security number so I can tell the government not to count any votes you cast." The Boss says, "You can do that?" Doctor says, "Here're some pills that look exactly like tic tacs."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2010's comic on:


Tags #said same thing, #27 times, #using different words, #stop talking, #rude, #repeat yourself

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "Excuse me. By my count, you've said the same thing 27 times, using different words." Alice says, "If I can get sworn statements from everyone here that we understand your point, will you stop talking?" Man says, "That's mighty rude of you." Alice says, "I dont' get your point. Can you repeat it 26 more times?"