Payroll Expenses Low Comic Strips - Page 7
Search Filters
Year
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
228 Results for Payroll Expenses Low
View 61 - 70 results for payroll expenses low comic strips. Discover the best "Payroll Expenses Low" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday May 24,
1998
Tags #new customer, #top 5 compnaies, #low price, #high margins
Transcript
An employee comes into the Boss' office with a man and says, "I'd like you to meet our newest customer." The Boss says, "You won't be sorry; we're one of the top five companies in this field." The customer turns to the employee and says, "I thought you said no one else makes this kind of product." The Boss interjects, "No one else makes one with so few features." The employee grimaces as the customer asks, "So...your strategy is low price, right?" The Boss replies, "No, high margins!" The customer grabs the employee by the collar and begins to choke him, screaming, "YOU!!" The employee's feet are propped up on the Boss' desk as the Boss thinks to himself, "I'd better ask someone what a 'margin' is."
Friday January 01,
1999
Tags #morale is low, #managers bonuses, #big changes, #surevy, #tenth year, #employee satisfaction
Transcript
The boss sits in a meeting with Alice and Dilbert. The boss says, "For the tenth year in a row, the employee satisfaction survey says morale is low. The boss says, "Managers' bonuses are linked to these results. You can be sure we'll make big changes...." The boss says, "...to the survey."
Monday January 18,
1999
Tags #company resources, #build internet, #low job satisfaction, #outright theft, #sabotage
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally and the boss are in a meeting. Wally, still with his ponytail, says, "I used company resources to build my own internet company." Wally says, "Apparently my low job satisfaction bred disloyalty, which drifted into outright theft." Wally says, "Sabotage can't be far away."
Wednesday March 17,
1999
Tags #transfer sales dept, #scapegoat, #make useless pordcuts, #low sales, #good prodcuts, #perfect wrld
Transcript
The boss says, to the scapegoat, "I'm transferring you to the sales department, scapegoat." The boss says, "Then we can make useless products and blame you for our low sales." The scapegoat says, "Wouldn't it be better to make good products?" The boss says, "In a perfect world."
Saturday April 24,
1999
Tags #blame others, #Catbert, #evil hr director, #oversized head, #problem, #tight pantyhose, #low morale
Transcript
Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert says, to Alice, "Alice, you blame others for your low morale." Catbert points at Alice and says, "BUT THE REAL PROBLEM IS YOUR TIGHT PANTYHOSE!!" Alice says, "I don't think so." CAtbert says, "Then how do you explain your oversized head?"
Monday October 04,
1999
Tags #young mans game, #low paid embryo, #already doing
Transcript
The Boss, sits at his desk and says to Wally, "Wally, technology is a young man's game." The Boss presents an embryo in a glass in his hand and says, "That's why I'm replacing you with this low-paid embryo." The Boss, off-frame except for hand and embryo, says, "Teach him to do what you do." Wally says, "He's already doing it."
Tuesday October 05,
1999
Tags #low paid embryo, #so cute, #healthy, #teaching drink coffee
Transcript
Alice says to Wally as he leaves his cubicle, "I hear you're being replaced by a low-paid embryo. May I see it?" The embryo is on the table. A straw runs from the embryo ti a coffee mug. Alice says, "He is so-oo cute!" Wally says, "I'm teaching him to drink coffee." Alice says, "Is that healthy?" Wally says, "It must be. I drink six quarts a day, and look at me."
Friday December 17,
1999
Tags #best employees, #world, #refuse to work, #low pay, #improve morale
Transcript
The boss, Wally and Dilbert are in a meeting. The boss has a sheet of paper and a pen on the table. The boss says: "We have the best employees in the world..." The boss says: "...not counting the people who refuse to work here because the pay is so low." The boss thinks while writing something: "Improve morale... done." Wally and Dilbert look away.
Tuesday October 10,
2000
Tags #payroll problem, #wrong person, #speak with supervisor, #forward call
Transcript
Dilbert, on the phone, says, "I'm trying to find someone who can help me with a payroll problem." A worker on the phone says, "You're close. I'm the guy who forwards your call to the wrong person." Dilbert says, "I'd like to speak with your supervisor." The voice on the other end of the line says, "I'll forward your call."
Tuesday February 06,
2001
Tags #low battery indicator, #work day and night, #health decline, #other peoples problems, #creep likes
Transcript
The feature creep Creep: Is it too late to give our product a low battery indicator? Dilbert: Id have to work night and day for a month! My health would decline and Id miss all my objectives! Creep: I jus realized that other peoples problems make me all warm inside.