Payroll Expenses Low Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

228 Results for Payroll Expenses Low

View 61 - 70 results for payroll expenses low comic strips. Discover the best "Payroll Expenses Low" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new customer, #top 5 compnaies, #low price, #high margins

View Transcript

Transcript

An employee comes into the Boss' office with a man and says, "I'd like you to meet our newest customer." The Boss says, "You won't be sorry; we're one of the top five companies in this field." The customer turns to the employee and says, "I thought you said no one else makes this kind of product." The Boss interjects, "No one else makes one with so few features." The employee grimaces as the customer asks, "So...your strategy is low price, right?" The Boss replies, "No, high margins!" The customer grabs the employee by the collar and begins to choke him, screaming, "YOU!!" The employee's feet are propped up on the Boss' desk as the Boss thinks to himself, "I'd better ask someone what a 'margin' is."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #morale is low, #managers bonuses, #big changes, #surevy, #tenth year, #employee satisfaction

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss sits in a meeting with Alice and Dilbert. The boss says, "For the tenth year in a row, the employee satisfaction survey says morale is low. The boss says, "Managers' bonuses are linked to these results. You can be sure we'll make big changes...." The boss says, "...to the survey."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company resources, #build internet, #low job satisfaction, #outright theft, #sabotage

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally and the boss are in a meeting. Wally, still with his ponytail, says, "I used company resources to build my own internet company." Wally says, "Apparently my low job satisfaction bred disloyalty, which drifted into outright theft." Wally says, "Sabotage can't be far away."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #transfer sales dept, #scapegoat, #make useless pordcuts, #low sales, #good prodcuts, #perfect wrld

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, to the scapegoat, "I'm transferring you to the sales department, scapegoat." The boss says, "Then we can make useless products and blame you for our low sales." The scapegoat says, "Wouldn't it be better to make good products?" The boss says, "In a perfect world."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blame others, #Catbert, #evil hr director, #oversized head, #problem, #tight pantyhose, #low morale

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert says, to Alice, "Alice, you blame others for your low morale." Catbert points at Alice and says, "BUT THE REAL PROBLEM IS YOUR TIGHT PANTYHOSE!!" Alice says, "I don't think so." CAtbert says, "Then how do you explain your oversized head?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #young mans game, #low paid embryo, #already doing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, sits at his desk and says to Wally, "Wally, technology is a young man's game." The Boss presents an embryo in a glass in his hand and says, "That's why I'm replacing you with this low-paid embryo." The Boss, off-frame except for hand and embryo, says, "Teach him to do what you do." Wally says, "He's already doing it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #low paid embryo, #so cute, #healthy, #teaching drink coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says to Wally as he leaves his cubicle, "I hear you're being replaced by a low-paid embryo. May I see it?" The embryo is on the table. A straw runs from the embryo ti a coffee mug. Alice says, "He is so-oo cute!" Wally says, "I'm teaching him to drink coffee." Alice says, "Is that healthy?" Wally says, "It must be. I drink six quarts a day, and look at me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #best employees, #world, #refuse to work, #low pay, #improve morale

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss, Wally and Dilbert are in a meeting. The boss has a sheet of paper and a pen on the table. The boss says: "We have the best employees in the world..." The boss says: "...not counting the people who refuse to work here because the pay is so low." The boss thinks while writing something: "Improve morale... done." Wally and Dilbert look away.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #payroll problem, #wrong person, #speak with supervisor, #forward call

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, on the phone, says, "I'm trying to find someone who can help me with a payroll problem." A worker on the phone says, "You're close. I'm the guy who forwards your call to the wrong person." Dilbert says, "I'd like to speak with your supervisor." The voice on the other end of the line says, "I'll forward your call."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #low battery indicator, #work day and night, #health decline, #other peoples problems, #creep likes

View Transcript

Transcript

The feature creep Creep: Is it too late to give our product a low battery indicator? Dilbert: Id have to work night and day for a month! My health would decline and Id miss all my objectives! Creep: I jus realized that other peoples problems make me all warm inside.