Pelt With Office Supplies Comic Strips - Page 7
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office worker: your so-called "safe" nuclear power invention will never work. dilbert: it already works. i'm charging my phone with it. office worker: i mean, it will never be economical. dilbert: it can power a small city for a dollar per day. office worker: pffft. i'll bet it ends up costing triple that.
alice: i noticed you have your keyboard click sounds activated. i've been listening to it all morning. the boss holding cell phone: i don't know how to make it stop. alice: i'll show you. frame shows outside of office building with phone being thrown out window.
dogbert to dilbert: this is my service human. office worker on leash. dogbert: whenever i feel angry, i slap him with a rolled-up magazine to help me relax. service human: no one reads magazines anymore. dogbert: can i borrow your iPad?
doctor: looks like you have a bad case of jargon poisoning. doctor: i'll write you a prescription for jargon-canceling headphones. they translate jargon words to normal words. office worker: let's stay in our swim lane while the tiger teams get buy-in on the verticals. dilbert hears this with headphones: nothing, nothing, nothing.
Man: I disagree with your email saying the plan won't work. Dilbert: My email said exactly the opposite. I said the plan will definitely work. Man: No, I read it with my own eyes. Dilbert: I'm the one who wrote it!!!
Boss: All of you should be more like Asok. He is in the office before I arrive and still here when I go home. Asok: That is because housing costs are so high that I live here in the office and sleep in a bathroom stall. Boss: That still leaves a lot of stalls for the rest of you.
Boss: As my new pet employee, your job is to agree with everything I say in meetings. Can you do that? Wally: Sure. How hard could it be? Boss: Climate change is caused by gravity. Wally: That's right!
eco: i've decided to give up my private office and work from a cubicle so employees will respect me more. my cubicle will be 1,000 square feet, with a ceiling. dilbert: that's called an office. eco: nothing pleases you common folk.
office worker: i still live with my parents because i can't find a job that matches my passion. dilbert: what is your passion? office worker: i collect porcelain frogs. dilbert: that isn't a career. office worker: how is that my fault?