Personal Hygiene Comic Strips - Page 7
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wally: I'm cruising into my fifth month with no written objectives. some philosophers would say that having no objectives means Im free to help any team that asks. Wally: My personal philosophy is more along the lines of hiding.
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources. "I need help balancing my career with my personal life." "I recommend a book called "No one will ever love you." It'll crush your hope for a personal life and free up more time for work." "That sounds unhealthy." "Take a pill, crybaby."
Dilbert: "No one has any good advice on how I can balance my work with my personal life." Wally: "You didn't ask me." "I take the Zen approach of having no friends and doing no work. Hence, perfect balance." Dilbert: "Where did you get that definition of Zen?" wally: "I used to read, but it's faster to make up stuff."
Keep a journal of everything you do. That way you'll know where you need help. "Now I am writing in my journal. I am still writing in my journal. Now I am writing about writing in my journal." "Ooh. I think I felt a little personal growth there."
The Boss: "Our core values are service, intergrity, respect, teamwork, responsibility, trust, diversity, value, honesty, fun, passion, fairness and excellence." wally: "How should we deal with the inherent conflicts? I mean, what if I want to be irresponsible in a fun and passionate way?" The Boss: "You have to do all of them." "I notice that hygiene didn't make the list.
Our shareholders are suing us for misleading them about our financial problems. "Since when is it illegal to shaft innocent people for personal gain?" "Don't put that in the minutes." "I'll see what I can do."
Nancy, the employee with serious personal problems Nancy: "I'm in love with a medical school cadaver." Alice: "Do you ever think that maybe your personal problems are caused by your own bad decisions?" Nancy: "How's it my fault that my boyfriend is acting cold?"
Nancy, the employee with serious personal problems Nancy: "The doctors say I need an operation." "They think my steady diet of licorice and diet soda turned my spleen into a C-4 explosive." "So I joined a support group. Have you heard of Al Qaeda?" Dilbert: "Gotta go..."
Dilbert: He was violating my personal space and his head got stuck in my ear." "You need a huge yawn to open the ear canal so he can get out." Tina: Yes, I do have lots of pictures of my porcelain frog collection. Why do you ask?"
Asok: Alice, do you have any valuable career advice? Alice: Work so hard that it destroys your health and crowds out any chance of having a personal life. Asok: Wouldn't that make me... unhappy? Alice: You didn't ask for happiness advice.