Planning Meeting Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Planning Meeting

View 61 - 70 results for planning meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Planning Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #build, #meeting, #project kick off, #project manager, #super fast microchips, #harder to saboatge, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

"Thank you all for coming to the project kick-off meeting." "As project manager I've decided not to tell you the purpose of the project. That way it will be harder for you to sabotage it." "Does it require ny super-fast microchips?" "Good lord, no. Don't build any of those...by Tuesday."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #steering committee, #calla meeting, #department heads, #override, #moot point, #leaders only

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Did you remember what the steering committee decided about my project? The Boss: Nope You'd better calla meeting with all the department heads, Their orders will override the steering committee and make it a moot point, Dilbert: It will take months to get on all of their calendars. The boss: And don't invite yourself. Its for leaders only.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #broke code, #can't be measured, #cut pay, #depend on meeting, #own darn fault, #sales targets

View Transcript

Transcript

"From now on, twenty percent of your pay will depend on the company meeting its sales targets." "In effect, we'll cut your pay and tell you it's your own darn fault." "Will the sales target be based on a complex formula and involve numbers that can't be accurately measured?" "You broke the code!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #3 hour meeting, #doesn't apply, #highly paid contractor, #oxygen to brains, #multimedia developer

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: It looks like you're off to a three-hour staff meeting that doesn't apply to me. Ted: Im glad Im a highly paid contractor, I'll be increasing my skills while you fight to get oxygen to your brains. THREE HOURS LATER TED: I became a multimedia developer, How was your day?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #planning to focus, #products killing people, #steal office supplies, #studies are flawed, #urban areas, #advertising

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogbert: Ethics Advisor" "We know our products are killing people, but we're claiming the studies are flawed." "We're planning to focus our advertising on the youth markets in poor urban areas." "So, given all that, is it okay for me to steal office supplies?" "I'd have to say yes."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #left engineering, #acme manger, #sexy, #liz, #decrease sex appeal, #planning number, #ham radio licence, #compensate loss, #goose bumps

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks outside with Liz. Dilbert asks her, "If I left engineering and became a manager would I be as sexy as I am now, Liz?" Liz responds, "I think it would decrease your sex appeal by 17%. But that's just a planning number." Dilbert and Liz sit on the couch. Dilbert asks, "What if I got my ham radio license to compensate for the loss?" Liz replies, "Look at my arm: goose bumps."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ethical question, #telecommuting, #owe employer, #saving planet, #not driving, #meeting, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at Dilbert's desk at home. Dilbert stands in front of the desk holding a cup of coffee and dressed in a bathrobe. Dilbert says, "I have an ethical question about telecommuting, Dogbert." Dilbert continues, "Do I owe my employer eight productive hours, or do I only need to match the two productive hours I would have in the office?" Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the desk chair together. Dogbert answers, "Well, when you factor in how you're saving the planet by not driving, you only owe one hour." Dilbert adds, "And this meeting counts."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers, #another closed door, #meeting, #pay cuts, #layoffs, #resume, #leadership vsion, #inspire employees, #action, #upgardes, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss and a woman walk by Dilbert's cubicle holding folders. Leaning back in his chair to look out of the cubicle, Dilbert thinks, "Uh-Oh . . . the managers are going to another closed-door meeting." Dilbert thinks, "It must be about pay cuts or layoffs. I'm doomed. I'd better work on my resume NOW." He pulls nervously at his tie, his hair stands on end and beads of sweat fly from his forehead. The Boss sits around a conference table with three other managers. Reading from a document, he says, "Okay, so far our 'leadership vision' says 'we inspire employees to action.' Does anybody have upgrades?" Another man responds, "Nah."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #improve career, #ceo, #refer first name, #recent meeting, #rule, #iron fist, #funny dog

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting on the couch. Dogbert says, "Try this little trick to improve your career . . ." Dogbert continues, "Anytime you want something your way, simply refer to your CEO by his first name and say he gave you directions during your very recent meeting." Dogbert continues, "It's totally unverifiable. People will fear you and do as you say. You'll rule with an iron fist!" Dilbert responds, "You're a funny little dog."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alarmed, #rat floating, #mid air, #rendered invisible, #worthless assignments, #bad attitude, #quality meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is surprised to see Ratbert hanging in midair. Ratbert says, "Don't be alarmed. I'm not really a rat floating in midair." Ratbert continues, "I'm clinging to the back of an employee who has been rendered invisible by a long succession of worthless assignments." The Boss comments, "Looks like an isolated case of bad attitude." Behind the Boss, a beaver is suspended in midair. The beaver asks, "Which room is the 'quality' meeting in?"