Plausible Excuse Comic Strips - Page 7
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131 Results for Plausible Excuse
View 61 - 70 results for plausible excuse comic strips. Discover the best "Plausible Excuse" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday March 23,
2005
Tags #not entitled to opinions, #copyrighted, #stupidest opinions, #universe, #uttered
Transcript
"And so that's why..." "Excuse me, you're not entitled to your opinion." "I copyrighted all of the stupidest opinions in the universe so they can never again be uttered." "Hey! I just realized that I no longer need to drink!"
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Wednesday December 14,
2005
Tags #vp of enguneering, #saving money, #databases, #slices idea, #errors, #asok
Transcript
V.P. of Engineering "Then I had the idea of saving money by combining our four databases." "Excuse me. That was Alice's idea. You said it was impossible, so she did it on her own time." "Carry on. I'll jump in if I notice any more errors."
Sunday March 12,
2000
Tags #stirrup pants, #not professional, #filed patent, #50 million dollars, #earn license fees, #comapny, #various pant crises
Transcript
The Boss calls Alice as she is walking by: "Alice!" The Boss tells Alice: "Stirrup pants are not professional attire." Alice explains: "I just filed a patent that will earn fifty million in license fees for the company." The Boss is impressed: "Really? Wow." He continues: "But its no excuse for bad pants." Alice says: "Whatever. Did you sign the budget request I gave you last week?" The Boss answers: "No... I've been busy with various pant-related crises." The stirrup pants are pulled over the Boss's head. He thinks: "Here's another."
Sunday July 23,
2000
Tags #baby cio, #meeting, #diapers, #nature calls, #big words, #very advanced, #baby, #infany, #genius, #smart, #talks, #business
Transcript
ALICE: have you met the new CIO? Dilbert: No. Alice: I hear he's young. New Cio: Hello. We need to integrate our enterprise resource planning with our existing E-commerce platform. Now if you'll excuse me. Nature Calls. AAAHHH.... Then we'll decentralize the procurement function and....hold on a second. Gramps could you do me a huge favor?
Friday July 11,
2008
Tags #salary, #above midpoint, #sock, #hand, #paycheck, #demonstration, #money
Transcript
The Boss says, "Your salary is already above the midpoint for your pay range." The Boss says, "Excuse me while I remove a sock to explain what will happen to your pay going forward." The Boss says, "Let's say the sock is inflation and my hand is your paycheck."
Thursday July 24,
2008
Tags #sympathy, #in need of sympathy, #so sorry, #face injured, #being thorough
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I need some sympathy." Dogbert says, "I'm so sorry your face looks like that." Dilbert says, "My face isn't injured." Dogbert says, "Well, excuse me for being thorough."
Friday March 12,
2010
Tags #meeting, #weekly report, #feng shui, #workspace, #ceo, #consultant, #record, #microphone, #nervous, #disbelief, #excuse, #superstition, #business
Transcript
Wally says, "I couldn't work this week because my workspace has bad Feng Shui." Wally says, "I know Feng Shui is a real thing because our CEO hired a Feng Shui consultant to design his office." Wally says, "Do you agree, or are you saying that our CEO is a superstitious simpleton?"
Friday June 11,
2010
Tags #favor, #excuse, #integration manager, #director of sustainability, #real, #matrix management, #neo
Transcript
Coworker says, "Wally, would you??" Wally says, "No. I'm doing something important for the brand integration manager." Coworker says, "Maybe after that you could?" Wally says, "Then I'm doing a rush job for the director of sustainability." Coworker says, "Are those even real people?" Wally says, "Welcome to Matrix management, Neo."
Wednesday December 22,
2010
Tags #said same thing, #27 times, #using different words, #stop talking, #rude, #repeat yourself
Transcript
Alice says, "Excuse me. By my count, you've said the same thing 27 times, using different words." Alice says, "If I can get sworn statements from everyone here that we understand your point, will you stop talking?" Man says, "That's mighty rude of you." Alice says, "I dont' get your point. Can you repeat it 26 more times?"