Play Doom Comic Strips - Page 7

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93 Results for Play Doom

View 61 - 70 results for play doom comic strips. Discover the best "Play Doom" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #beef, #cake, #diet, #drink kool aid, #eat it too, #just derts, #meat and potatoes, #pie hole, #vendores, #play on words, #food metphors, #health

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The boss: Our meat and potatoes is knowing how to sandwich in our product without causing the other vendors to beef. "We'll get our just desserts when they drink the Kool-Aid. Then we can have our cake and eat it too." Alice: "Are you on a diet?" " The boss: Shut your pie hole."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #celebrities, #wealth, #money manager, #dumb celebrities, #pay close attention, #money invested, #protect money, #money

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Dogbert: I've decided to become a money manager for dumb celebrities. Celebrities don't pay close attention to where their money is invested, or who is stealing it. Dilbert: So you plan to help them protect their money? Dogbert: That would be one way to play it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #90 day performance plan, #low ambitions

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Boss: Ted, I'm putting you on a ninety-day performance improvement play. Ted: Yes!!! I've always dreamed of making it onto the performance improvement plan! Boss: It's not as good as it sounds. Ted: With all due respect, you don't know how low my ambitions are.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #human resources, #evaluate job applicants, #unqualified loser, #nailing it, #business

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: "I like to use role play to evaluate job applicants." Pretend you're an unqualified loser. Wow. You're totally nailing it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management potentail, #turtle, #attacked by hawk

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Catbert says, "I will use role play to evaluate your management potential. Catbert says, "Imagine you are a turtle and you are being attacked by a hawk." Catbert says, "That's better than I expected." A man says, "Thanks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hospital, #ductwork, #shot out, #survived, #alive, #pointy hair, #cushion, #cool machines, #bed, #play, #fiddle, #disrupt, #medical

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Doctor says, "He survived because his pointy hair cushioned the impact." Doctor says, "Please resist the urge to fiddle with the cool machines that keep him alive." Alice says, "Maybe we can make him smarter." Wally says, "What's this do?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #email, #laptop, #boring, #time suck hole, #yell, #thorough, #play music, #business

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Dilbert says, "I hope you don't mind if I do email during the boring parts of your meeting." Dilbert says, "I don't want to be dragged into your time suck hole." Coworker says, "You are kind of a time suck hole." Man 2 says, "I'm thorough!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee, #confused, #battery, #stealing, #electricity, #revenge

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Dilbert says, "What's on your back?" Wally says, "It's a battery." Wally says, "I recharge it at work with company electricity, then I use it at night to power my home appliances." Wally says, "If they cut my benefits one more time, I'll make a play for their water too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job, #orders, #leadership, #idiocy, #guessing, #confusion, #business

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The boss says, "Dilbert, I need you to take over Carl's function." The boss says, "He's already gone, but Ted can train you." The boss says, "Ted was sometimes in the general vicinity when Carl did the function." a cloud says, "Doom" Ted says, "Try clicking the red...no, blue...no, red button." Beep ted says, "Ooh, okay. I didn't expect that." ted says, "Now you either have to erase all of the servers or activate the fire suppression system in the clean room." Dilbert says, "What if I click 'Cancel'?" Ted says, "That's what killed Carl." Ted says, "Anyway, that's all I know. The rest is just common sense."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #hiring, #renaming, #confusion, #anger, #business

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The boss says, "We're changing the name of our staffing group to 'Talent acquisition.'" the boss says, "This reflects our new focus on hiring only highly talented people." Dilbert says, "Doesn't that imply that your current employees are inferior to the ones you plan to hire?" The boss says , "Sort of." Dilbert says, "And since you routinely fire the worst performing employees..." Dilbert says, "you have just sealer our doom while expecting us to remain loyal to the company." Wally says, "now all I can thin k about are ways to vandalize the servers before I become homeless." The boss says, "I over-communicated again."