Poor Arting Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for poor arting comic strips. Discover the best "Poor Arting" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceo, smashed pay, share the pain, six million to four, sandwich bag underwear, intern is poor

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The Boss says to Asok and Dilbert, "Our CEO has voluntarily slashed his pay from six million per year to four." The Boss continues, "In a written statement he said he wants to 'share the pain.' The Boss asks, "Do you feel better now?" Asok replies, "I make my own underwear from sandwich bags."

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Wally, hits on hire, crazy mess, problems, asks to move in, wants dinner

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wally: "Your life is a rolling disaster, so I figure I should ask you for a date." "I'm hoping that the source of your problem is that you consistently make poor choices." "Maybe you could buy some groceries and make me a nice dinner." "Would you like to move in with me?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, great managing, engaged, disengaged, praise and recognition, encourage developement, important job, opinions count, prodcutivity, drop dead, learn and grow

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Wally: Here's a list of the twelve elements of great managing. If you do everything on that list, it will make me feel what experts call "engaged." If you fail to do your job properly, I will feel all disengaged and do poor work. This would be a convenient time to give me some praise and recognition. You might also want to encourage my development and tell me my job is important. Remember to care about me as a person and tell me my opinions count. If you do all of that, plus seven more things on the list, you might get some productivity out of me. Boss: Leave my office and drop dead. Wally: Will that help me learn and grow?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cold desperation, drab, grimy habitat, meaningless, pile of money, poor persons, rich people, roll in money, underling

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CEO: Uh-oh. I'm lost and I've wandered into the grimy habitat of an underling. I feel the cold desperation of your drab and meaningless life. I need to roll in money to get the smell off me. Where's the nearest pile?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags poor persons, rich people, homely, middle class, capitalism

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CEO: I don't know how to say this delicately so I'll just say it. Looking at your homely, middle-class face makes my skin crawl. Never speak directly to me again. Sometimes I think they don't understand capitalism.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags suspicion, assemble data, boring work, quality over quality, poor politics, office politics

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Boss: I need you to assemble a huge amount of totally incomprehensible data. Make it boring so no one looks at it too closely. I'm aiming for quantity over quality. Dilbert: I have a bad feeling about this. Boss: No one would pay you to feel good.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, late, chronically late, pre meeting, trick, chronic lateness, power, selfish, bad attitude, business

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Dilbert: Let's meet before the project meeting to go over a few things. Coworker: Nice try. We chronically late people know when we're being played. Your pre-meeting is a trick to get me to show up on time for the real meeting. But that won't work because poor planning isn't the cause of my chronic lateness. I make people wait for me because I enjoy the power and I don't care about anyone's feelings. Dilbert: Fine. I'll see you at the project meeting at ten. Coworker: Nice try. I know the meeting is at 10:30. Dilbert: How do you keep a job? Coworker: That attitude is exactly why I don't like people.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags charitable organizations, have a dream, recycled software, busy week, recycled, old software, math programs

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Wally: I had a busy week. I recycled all of our old software and donated the zeroes and ones to math programs in poor towns. My dream is that someday every child will be able to count to one.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executive steering group, cancel designs, sowed seeds of destruction, unclear

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The Boss says, "The executive steering group took your recommendation to cancel all design projects." Dilbert says, "What?!! I didn't recommend that!" The Boss says, "Uh-oh. Your poor communication skills have sowed the seeds of our destruction." Dilbert says, "Gaaa!!!" Dilbert says, "Am I an unclear communicator?" Dogbert says, "six o'clock."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags billions in bad loans, bug pay cut, regulatory oversight

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CEO: We've decided to write off 47 billion dollars in bad loans. You might think this is my fault, but in actuality it is all caused by poor regulatory oversight. Who is in favor of those guys taking a big pay cut? Anyone?"