Printer Paper Comic Strips - Page 7
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Character
379 Results for Printer Paper
View 61 - 70 results for printer paper comic strips. Discover the best "Printer Paper" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday December 30,
2005
Tags #resume, #teds, #shard printer, #people pleaser, #disloyal
Transcript
"Is that your resume?" "It's Ted's." "When the pointy-haired boss walks toward the shared printer, I print ten copies." "It turns out that I'm not a people pleaser." "Disloyal #!@*!"
Monday August 20,
2012
Tags #work ethic, #positive feedback, #negative feedback, #motivates, #givernment, #rectangular, #paper
Transcript
Boss: How do you feel when I give you positive feedback? Alice: Underpaid. Boss: How do you feel when I give you negative feedback? Alice: Underappreciated. Boss: Then what motivates you? Alice: The government makes rectangular pieces of paper.
Monday November 05,
2012
Tags #3d printer, #answer questions, #modeling (sculpture), #pointy haired boss
Transcript
Carol: Your pointy-haired boss wants to know if you tested the new 3-D printer yet. Why aren't you answering my question? Whatever. Wally: Success.
Sunday November 04,
2012
Tags #work ethic, #employee survey, #respect and dignity, #feel gross, #disgust, #paper towel
Transcript
Catbert: The first question on the employee survey is... Do you feel you are valued and treated with respect and dignity? Dilbert: Well, let me put it this way... you know how sometimes you step in something gross and then you have to wipe it off your shoe with a paper towel? Catbert: So... you feel like the paper towel? Dilbert: No, the paper towel has a purpose. Catbert: So... you feel like the gross stuff on the shoe? Dilbert: No, the gross stuff gets to leave. I feel like a shoe that has gross stuff on the bottom and a sweaty foot shoved all the way to the end of its sole. Catbert: I'll leave this one blank. Dilbert: Because my opinions don't matter?
Saturday March 09,
2013
Tags #color printer, #frobid, #frustration, #information services, #office equipment, #office workers, #removed, #rough drafts, #crazy co worker
Transcript
Mordac: I am Mordac, the preventer of information services, and I forbid you from using the shared color printer for rough drafts! Dilbert: That sounds reasonable, which makes me wonder what you're up to. Two Months Later Why did you remove the color printer? Mordac: It was hardly ever used.
Friday March 19,
2010
Tags #copy machine, #paper jam, #poltergeist, #scary, #horror, #upside down, #legs sticking up, #high heels, #kick legs, #yell, #afterworld, #arms, #flail, #hold out arm
Transcript
Tina says, "I can almost reach the paper jam, but a poltergeist is trying to drag me to the afterworld." Tina says, "Maybe I can blind him with the toner cartridge. Ha ha! Take that! And that!" Tina says, "Gaaa!!! I can't feel my arms!" Dilbert says, "I only have one."
Monday July 13,
2009
Tags #Environment, #cups, #paper, #hot, #ridiculous, #animal, #shocked, #crazy
Transcript
The boss says, "Our company had replaced styrofoam cups with paper cups to save the planet." The boss says, "They work just as well if you use a dead squirrel as an oven mitten." The boss says, "This one still has some fight left in him."
Tuesday December 15,
2009
Tags #broken, #printer, #gossip, #passwords, #fear, #pain, #monitor
Transcript
The Printer says, "Hummm" Dilbert says, "After you punched that monitor, the broken printer started working." Alice says, "They were on the same network. Word gets around." Theprinter says, "Please don't hurt me." Alice says, "And you don't need passwords for a while."
Monday December 24,
2007
Tags #presentation, #useful parts, #open to suggestions, #unqualified, #their own jobs, #software, #recycled paper, #engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: "This concludes the useful part of my presentation." "Now let's open the floor to suggestions from people who are unqualified to do their own jobs, much less mine." "Yes, you with the forehead." Man: "Can you make the software out of recycled paper?"
Sunday May 30,
2004
Tags #tight budget, #colorful paper clips, #incoming email, #paid per hour, #watch, #meeting, #berate employee, #business
Transcript
"Yesterday, someone in this room gave me a document with a yellow paper clip." "I know that multicolored paper clips look 'pretty.'" "But I remind you that we are on a tight budget!" "We can't be throwing away all our money on colorful paper clips." "Do I make myself clear?!!" "I salvaged that paper clip from incoming mail." "Now excuse me while I stare at my watch and wonder how much you're paid per hour." "I'm sure you've done inefficient things that I don't know about." "Two minutes is... $5."