Project Management Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

944 Results for Project Management

View 61 - 70 results for project management comic strips. Discover the best "Project Management" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #management, #series, #hour, #late, #lecture, #across, #town, #complete, #jobs, #cattle, #rub, #moo

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a stage holding a microphone. He addresses the audience, "Welcome to the 'Dogbert Time Management Lecture Series.'" Dogbert continues, "Sorry I'm an hour late, but I was giving another lecture across town . . . In effect, I'll complete two jobs while you sit in the dark like stunned cattle." Dogbert looks down at the audience and says, "I don't mean to rub it in, but mooo . . . "

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #transferred, #assignments, #management, #yanking, #chain, #over-communicating, #manager, #sales

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, you're being temporarily transferred to the field sales organization." The Boss continues, "Normally we use these assignments to round somebody out for management. But in this case I'm just yanking your chain!" Dilbert says, "You're over-communicating again, sir." The Boss continues, "Plus, I hate the manager of sales."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 1993's comic on:

Tags #the boss, #wimpy, #management, #techniques, #empowerment, #quality, #memo, #shock, #subjective, #electric

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss thinks, "I've had enough of those wimpy management techniques like 'empowerment' and 'quality.'" The Boss stands behind an employee who is wearing a headband with a receiver on it. The Boss says, "Write a BETTER memo or I'll send a strong shock to your head." The Boss presses a button on his belt and the man receives a shock. The Boss looks at the reader and says, "The best part is that it's all subjective."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 1993's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #tim, #working, #days, #secret, #project, #confidential, #proprietary, #important, #sounds

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a man, "Hi, Tim. What are you working on these days?" Tim replies, "A secret project." Tim continues, "Very, very secret. Confidential and proprietary. Real hush-hush." Dilbert says, "It sounds important." Tim points a gun at Dilbert and says, "Just move along."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 1993's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #class, #career, #options, #engineer, #retire, #major, #catastrophe, #consultants, #project, #teams, #real, #crush, #marketing, #donuts

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a classroom of children, "The goal of every engineer is to retire without getting blamed for a major catastrophe." Dilbert continues, "Engineers prefer to work as 'consultants' on project teams. That way there's no real work, blame is spread across the group, and you can crush any idea from marketing!" Dilbert continues, ". . . And sometimes you get free donuts just for showing up!" The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 1993's comic on:

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #embrace, #change, #management fad, #alice, #Wally, #pass, #quickly, #linger, #stench, #newsletter

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, ". . . Companies must learn to embrace change." The employees all think, "Uh-oh. It's another management fad." They all think, "Will it pass quickly or will it linger like the stench of a dead woodchuck under the porch?" The Boss says, "I think we should do a 'change' newsletter." The employees think, "Woodchuck."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 1993's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #brochure, #seminar, #management, #zombies, #utilize, #paradigm, #vertical, #empowerment, #proactive

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "I got a brochure for 'Dogbert's Seminar on Management Zombies.' I think you should go." Dilbert reads the pamphlet, "Learn how to use words like: utilize, paradigm, vertical, empowerment, and proactive in every sentence." Dilbert says, "I'm not sure I want to talk like that." The Boss says, "Come . . . Join us . . . Don't be afraid . . ."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 1993's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #management, #seminar, #optimistic, #creative, #individuals, #jargon-spewing, #corporate, #zombies, #donut

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert points to a picture of a man with a lightbulb over his head. Dogbert says, "Many of you come to my management seminar as optimistic, creative, clear-speaking individuals." Dogbert continues, "But with hard work, you can become jargon-spewing corporate zombies, like Carl here." Dilbert sits in the audience. Carl sits in a chair looking straight ahead and saying, "I want to dialogue with you about utilizing resources." Dogbert says, "Good boy! Here's a donut." Dogbert tosses him a donut.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 1993's comic on:

Tags #elbonia, #elbonian men, #Dilbert, #management, #business consulting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to three Elbonians, "I've been sent to teach you 'Total Quality Management.'" Dilbert points at a visual aid that says "Quality equals good (1950)." Dilbert says, "In the old days, quality was just an empty word meaning 'good.'" Dilbert continues, "Eventually it evolved into a complicated method for transferring your money to business consultants."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 1993's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #ted, #business project, #business meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table with a man from marketing. The man says, "You engineers have done NOTHING on my project. You just keep saying I haven't given you sufficient requirements!" The man throws his arms up in frustration and says, "I don't know what else you need and you won't tell me what you need!! Is this just your way of avoiding work??!" Wally replies, "I'll bet you regret choosing marketing as a career path." Dilbert adds, "It looks like a lot of work."