Promising Career Comic Strips - Page 7

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173 Results for Promising Career

View 61 - 70 results for promising career comic strips. Discover the best "Promising Career" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags animals in human situations, career, criticism, jobs, pet ownership, counselor, pity

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Career Counselor Woman: And why did you leave your last job? Dilbert: My dog was tired of hearing me whine about my job, so he became a billionaire and bought my company and fired me. Woman: I don't have a checkbox for that so I'll just write in "loser".

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags career counselor, something you love, not working, loserish, bowling

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Dogbert, career counselor Dogbert: "Do something you love." Ted: "I love not working." Dogbert: "Do you have any loves that are any less loserish?" Ted: "I love to watch bowling!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags career counselor, no marketable talent, keep positive, not going to change, unemployable

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Dogbert, career counselor DOgbert: "You have no marketable talent." "You're totally unemployable and that's not going to change." "The important thing is to keep a positive attitude."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags career counselor, flower arranging, billionaire, work hard, defeat purpose, no work, doesn't want to work

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Dogbert, career counselor "What would you like to do with your degree in...flower arranging?" "I'd like to be a billionaire." "Are you willing to work hard?" "That would sort of defeat the purpose."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags career plan, daughter, trophy wife, blind guy, visual, performing arts

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The Boss: Alice, This is my daughter. Her career plan is to become a trophy wife for a blind guy. Daughter: And by that he means he's not happy that Im majoring in visual and performing arts. Alice: Im having a real hard time choosing sides on this one.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, interviews, career goals, 80 hours a week, below - market, compensation

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Job interview Interviewee: But enough about me. How can I help you achieve your career goals? Boss: You could work 80 hours a week for below-market compensation. Interviewee: I did not see that coming. Boss: Good. I need employees who can't see it coming. You're hired.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, work ethic, career advice, work hard, destroy helath, personal life, happiness advice, psychology

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Asok: Alice, do you have any valuable career advice? Alice: Work so hard that it destroys your health and crowds out any chance of having a personal life. Asok: Wouldn't that make me... unhappy? Alice: You didn't ask for happiness advice.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, thinking, twitter, witty tweets, power to destroy career, abusing employees, personal gain, business

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Boss: Carol, create a Twitter account under my name and send out witty tweets every day. Carol: Buwhahahaha! I hold in my hands the power to destroy your career and your reputation! Boss: Every now and then I question my strategy of abusing my employees for personal gain.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags monkey trainer, freelancer, career choices, banana, cubicle

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The Boss: Is this 'take your daughter to work day' again? Girl: No, I'm a free-lancer. I've narrowed my career choices to prison guard or monkey trainer. The boss: I don't see how coming here will help. Girl: I'll give you a banana if you show me your cubicles.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags albanian makeover, bald and chinless, hat makes taller, career helper, minute to drink in, vp of finance

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Wally says, "I got an Elbonian makeover. Now no one can tell I'm bald and chinless." Wally says, "The hat even makes me look taller. I think this will help my career." Wally says, "Take a minute to drink this in." An Elbonian says, "I just found my new VP of finance!"