Prove Stupid Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for prove stupid comic strips. Discover the best "Prove Stupid" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quality estimates, #arm, #torso, #stupid elbow, #forgetful, #yelling, #bearting, #holding document, #senior moments

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The boss: "Alice, where are the quality estimates that I asked you for an hour ago?" "It's between your left arm and your stout torso, about elbow-high." "Stupid elbow."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wise king salmon, #fish are stupid, #project, #right or wrong

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"We could do the project right for $100,000 or do it wrong for $25,000." "I believe that the wise King Salmon would say to split the difference and do it for $50,000." "Fish are stupid."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcart consults, #software has bugs, #repackaging, #rust inhibitor, #error messages, #people aren't stupid, #they are, #spit when type

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Dogbert says to Dilbert and the Boss, "Your software product is riddled with bugs." Dogbert continues, "I recommend repackaging it as a rust inhibitor for computers." Dogbert says, "The ads will say 'you know it's working because of all the error messages'." Dilbert replies, "People aren't stupid." Dogbert answers, "According to my research they are." Dogbert shows a diagrahm of a human brain with each section labeled. The Boss replies, "I think the rust turned my exclamation upside down." Dilbert says, "That's the letter 'I'."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #recessions, #regular interns, #interns intern, #no pay, #semi relevant job experience, #slap you, #no reason, #stupid economy

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Boss: We don't have any openings for regular interns, but I can offer you a job as an intern to our intern. We won't pay you, of course, but you might acquire an imperceptible amount of semi-relevant job experience. And sometimes we'll slap you for no reason. Applicant: Stupid economy! I'll take it.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #marketing plan, #consumers, #research is stupid, #opposed to science, #rational thinking, #manifestaions, #pendantic, #semantics, #stopped talking

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Boss: ... and that's our marketing plan for the coming year. Dilbert: Research shows that consumers reject this sort of approach. Boss: Research is stupid. Dilbert: Are you saying the studies on this particular topic are flawed? Or are you just generally opposed to science, rational thinking, and all manifestations of common sense. Boss: Stop being pedantic with your semantics. Catbert: Did you get buy-in? Boss: Yes, in the sense that they stopped talking.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #worked around clock, #ten programmers, #establish new baseline, #tragic death march, #stretch golas, #stupid

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Asok says, "I worked around the clock and finished a project that would normally require ten programmers." Asok says, "Um... did I just establish a new baseline expectation that will turn my job into a tragic death march?" The Boss says, "It's time to set some stretch goals." Asok says, "STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #director of green, #turn off computer, #stupid

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Director of Green Andy says, "Turn off your computer while you're thinking." Dilbert says, "That's stupid." Andy says, "if it weren't stupid, you wouldn't need me to tell you to do it."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer problem, #human error, #stupid, #mock, #cabbage

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The Boss says, "Was it human error?" Dilbert says, "I doubt it" Dilbert says, "No human would be that stupid. My best guess is that a cabbage got access to your computer." The Boss says, "Cabbbages can't use computers." Dilbert says, "Can they tell when they're being mocked?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #basic research, #donuts, #stupid, #increase profits, #stern, #sit in chair, #first bite

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Wally says, "I'm doing basic research to test my theory that donuts make other people stupid." The Boss says, "I expect you to do basic research that will increase our profits this quarter." Wally says, "Wow. It works on the first bite."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #facebook, #twitter, #marketing, #social media, #new employee, #coworker, #cats, #drunk, #stupid, #business, #technology

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Beth says, "As the marketing manager for social media, my job is to use these two words a lot." Beth says, "Marketing through social media is like herding cats. And just to make it interesting, many of the cats are drunk and stupid." Dilbert says, "Burn." Catbert says, "I am totally defriending that witch."