Punch Cards Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

68 Results for Punch Cards

View 61 - 68 results for punch cards comic strips. Discover the best "Punch Cards" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Alice, you need to use up your vacation days before the end of the year." "You told me I had to finish my project before the end of the year." "I have 19 vacation days to use and there are 19 work days left in the year." "That leaves zero days to do 19 days worth of work." "You could work on weekends and use weekdays for vacation." "Why the @#$% would I do that?!!" "Because vacations reduce your stress. Duh." "You'd think that would be obvious." "AAIEEE!!!" PUNCH!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"We don't have enough chairs." "Why do I always have to get the extra chair?" "I need to borrow your guest chair." "No way." punch punch punch punch punch punch punch "GAAAA!!!" "If you aren't willing to punch a coworker for a chair, you don't belong in this business."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work load, #complaints, #drowning in work, #priorotize, #fax, #new guy set, #faxing project, #reading comics

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Carol, the new manager hasn't hired an admin. so I said he could share you." Carol: "What?!!" "I'm drowning in work, and you want to double my load???!!!" The boss: "It's no big deal. Just prioritize your work." "And I need you to fax this." Carol: "No can do." "My top priority is getting the new guy all set up." The Boss: "Hmmm... I guess that's fair. I'll send him over." Carol: "I can't order your business cards, I need to do a huge faxing project!" "Hee hee! Marmaduke is sitting on something again!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #indecion, #intense pressure, #impossible before deadline, #layers of management., #incompetence, #odor of doom, #scarce and sniff, #3d glasses

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is giving a presentation. He says, "The original schedule looked like this..." Dilbert points to a slide and says, "One month for a management decision and one year to do the project." The Boss, Wally, and Alice listen as Dilbert continues, "The revised schedule is this..." Dilbert continues, "One year of indecision followed by intense pressure to do the impossible before the deadline." Dilbert passes a box of 3-D glasses and says, "Now if you'll each take a pair of 3-D glasses..." Dilbert continues, "You can see the layers of management incompetence practically jump out at you." Dilbert hands out cards and says, "Now scratch one of these scented cards to sniff the unmistakable odor of doom." Wally and Alice are suffering from the smell. The Boss says, "I don't smell anything. Is mine broken?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #comic ends early, #embedded punchline, #follow passion, #joking, #made fat, #set up, #blank frame, #sight gag

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I tried to follow my passion but it only made me fat. Dogbert: This comic ends early because some idiot embedded the punch line in the setup. Message to Readers

Fierce Employees Wanted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fierce Employees Wanted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #confusion, #ferocity, #fierce, #hiring, #interview, #job application, #job interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're looking for employees who are fierce! Applicant: Should I punch you or something? I don't know how to play this. Boss: Try acting normal, but angrier.

Asok The Stock Picking Genius

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok The Stock Picking Genius - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #day trader, #greed, #investing, #luck, #money, #stock market, #stocks

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I bought my first stock and it went up five percent in one week!That means I'm a stock-picking genius. I plan to max out all of my credit cards and become a day-trader. Dilbert: The total market is up six percent. Asok: That's just luck. It can't do that forever.

Asok Is Offended By Wally

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Is Offended By Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #offense, #insult, #offensive, #fighting, #nonviolent resistance

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I hear you have been comparing yourself to Gandhi, the father of my birth country. That is offensive. It makes me want to punch you. Wally: Have you tried fasting instead? I hear good things about it.