Randomly Assigned Comic Strips - Page 7

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66 Results for Randomly Assigned

View 61 - 66 results for randomly assigned comic strips. Discover the best "Randomly Assigned" comics from Dilbert.com.

Evil Orc

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Evil Orc - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2017's comic on:


Tags #fantasy, #virtual reality, #work, #boss, #orc, #monster

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Dilbert: I wrote a VR program that turns the workplace into a "Lord Of The Rings" adventure. Gaaaa!!! It's an evil orc! Boss: I guess your program randomly assigns characters to real people. Dilbert: Um, yes, random.

Dogbert The Special Counsel

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Dogbert The Special Counsel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #trump, #comey, #obstruction, #russia, #collusion

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Boss: Everyone says you've been colluding with our Elbonian competitors. I've assigned a special counsel to review all of your email and phone logs. Dilbert: I've done nothing wrong. Dogbert: Stop trying to obstruct justice.

Wally Maintains The Network

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Wally Maintains The Network  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2018's comic on:


Tags #information, #spying, #surviellance, #blackmail, #extortion

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Boss: Wally, your performance is terrible. You're fired. Wally: Are you aware that every message you have ever sent using company devices is archived on a network you assigned me to maintain? Boss: Is that a threat? Wally: I also archive your web searches.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2019's comic on:


Tags #budget, #business, #office, #raise, #project

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the boss: i can't give you a raise because you did not complete your project. dilbert: that's because you canceled my project for budget reasons and assigned me to work on another project. the boss: did you finish your new project? dilbert: you only recently assigned it to me. the boss: apparently, i keep giving you work, but you never complete any of it. dilbert visually distressed: that is a total distortion of what happened! dilbert: i can't reward you for having good intentions and finishing nothing! dilbert: why not wait and see now i do on my current project? the boss: we don't need that anymore.

Poor Communication Skills

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Poor Communication Skills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 2019's comic on:


Tags #communication, #employees, #office, #office workers, #questions, #projects

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Man: Would you like to be on my project team? Dilbert: Hard pass. Your communication skills are so poor that the project is doomed to failure. Man: I meant to say your boss already assigned you to my project. Dilbert: We're off to a good start.

Centralizing The Decentralized

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Centralizing The Decentralized - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #value

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Boss: I need to randomly change something so it seems as if being a manager is a real job. Maybe I should centralize all the functions I decentralized last year. Catbert: Or you could find a way to add value. Boss: I'm not magic.