Realize Accuracy Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

91 Results for Realize Accuracy

View 61 - 70 results for realize accuracy comic strips. Discover the best "Realize Accuracy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #budget cut, #joke, #bleak, #budget cuts, #undead, #feast on flesh, #don't like light

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: I realize things look bleak after the budget cuts. But remember it's always the darkest before the undead feast on your flesh. Because they don't like light. Dilbert: WE GET IT!!!

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #suggestion, #sitting, #typing, #annoyed, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Our VP of Sales asks that you answer customer questions through the sales reps, not directly." Dilbert says, "Is the goal to reduce the timeliness of my answers or just to filter out the accuracy?" The boss says, "Why are you like this?" DIlbert says, "Should I tell you or the sales reps?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rude, #mockery, #faxing, #1995, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "Can I send our requirements to your fax?" Dilbert says, "Absolutely." Dilbert says, "I'll just travel back in time to 1995, when faxing was a good way to handle this sort of thing." Man says, "You realize I'm your customer, right?" Dilbert says, "Until you spend all of your money on new fax machones."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #documentary on bugs, #insecure, #self centered, #walk, #date, #self involved

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I saw a fascinating documentary about bugs." Date: "In other words, you like bugs more than you like me." "In other words, you like bugs more than you like me." Dilbert: "Yes, but I didn't realize it until just now."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #discussion, #meetings, #drink coffee, #decisons, #wise

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Let's drink coffee together while I say wise things about business. Wally: Nothing would make us happier. Dilbert: Whataya got? Boss: The only reason to have meetings is to make decisions. Wally: That sounded very wise. Dilbert: Totally. Boss: I know. I"m kind of proud of that one. Wally: So what happens when you get in a meeting and realize you don't have all of the information you need to make a decision? Boss: This works better if you two don't talk.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #crimes, #mobile (cell) phones, #large screen smartphone, #stealing, #life of crime, #chosen lifestyle

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You have a large-screen smartphone, and yet you don't work while walking from one place to another. That's like stealing from the company. Dilbert: I didn't realize I had chose a life of crime. Dogbert: And you're not even doing it right.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chocolate, #obliviousness, #dark chocolate, #brain works better, #magical thinking, #fad chasing, #eating, #three pounds

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I ate three pounds of dark chocolate and it made my brain work better. Now I realize that everything I've done in my career up to this point has been magical thinking and fad-chasing. What should I do? Catbert: Stop eating chocolate.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #3 months, #multiple projects, #multitasking, #projects, #waiting, #work ethic, #patience

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Three months. That's how long I have been waiting for you to do your part of the project. Wally: Perhaps you don't realize how many projects I'm on. Coworker: Have you done any work for the other projects? Wally: That would defeat the point of having multiple projects.

Single Dilbert Is Valuable

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Single Dilbert Is Valuable - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition, #dating, #low standards, #Men, #market value, #single guy, #low bar, #tall, #employed, #height, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm starting to realize that my market value as a single guy is higher than I thought. Men such as you have set the bar so low that all I need to do is have a job and be taller than most women in heels. I thought they were turned on by my tube clothing, but they actually like me for me. Wally: You're welcome.

Does It Matter If The Spreadsheet Is Wrong

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Does It Matter If The Spreadsheet Is Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #idea, #reality, #accuracy, #creative accounting, #numbers, #math, #error, #excel, #spreadsheet, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: What are the odds that you made this complicated spreadsheet without any critical errors? Boss: Does it matter, as long as it gives me the answer I want? Alice: It should. Boss: But ask yourself if it does.