Reduce Costs Comic Strips - Page 7

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137 Results for Reduce Costs

View 61 - 70 results for reduce costs comic strips. Discover the best "Reduce Costs" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #can-o-matic, #restroom, #stall, #randomly, #fires, #pink, #slip, #backs, #expressions, #security, #cameras

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Dogbert points to a picture of a bathroom and tells the Boss, "As your consultant, I recommend the 'Can-O-Matic' to reduce staff levels." Dogbert points to a picture of a person falling out a building window and explains, "Disguised as a restroom stall, the Can-O-Matic randomly fires people by slapping a pink slip on their backs and catapulting them out of the building." The Boss says, "But I won't get to see the expressions on their faces." Dogbert replies, "Well, we could fling them past the security cameras here . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #romantic, #match, #life, #happiness, #key, #avoid, #person, #Catbert

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The caption says, "They say everybody has a perfect romantic match . . ." Dilbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. The caption says, "And they say the key to a life of happiness . . ." A woman who looks like Dilbert walks outdoors with her cat. The caption says, ". . . Is to avoid that person at all costs." As they pass each other Dilbert, Dogbert, the female Dilbert and her cat all think, "Yuck."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #report, #utilize, #facilitate, #replace, #implementation, #phase, #readable, #fax, #type, #size

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The Boss sits at his desk reading a report while Dilbert stands waiting. The Boss says, "Good report, but change the word 'use' to 'utilize' in each case." The Boss continues, "Change 'help' to 'facilitate' and replace 'do' with 'implementation phase.'" The Boss continues, "Hmm . . . It's still a bit too readable." Dilbert replies, "I could reduce the type size and run it through the fax."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #justify, #computer, #Draw, #attention, #empowerment, #quiet

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Dilbert sits at his desk thinking, "I need to work on something big so I can justify my existence here." Dilbert thinks, "But not something important, because that would draw attention to me at a time of staff cuts." Dilbert thinks, "What can I do that costs a lot but nobody wants?" The Boss walks by thinking, "'Empowerment' sure made them quiet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 1993's comic on:


Tags #business meeting, #Dilbert, #the boss, #productivity, #ted, #Wally

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I need to identify any unnecessary and unproductive employees so I can cut costs." The Boss asks, "Does anybody have spare time to join my task force on productivity?" Ted raises his hand and the Boss says, "Good, good . . . Anybody else?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #alice, #Dilbert, #seminar

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Alice, "I found a seminar that will teach fire-walking as a way to build confidence." The Boss continues, "Each of you will have to walk barefoot over burning coals while I watch!" Dilbert asks, "But amazingly, we learn how to do it without injury, right?" The Boss replies, "No, that seminar costs a lot more."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 1994's comic on:


Tags #product, #what it does, #who would duse it, #rest later, #plan to sell, #psychic

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"We don't know what the project should do or who would use it." "But if you could tell us what it costs to build it, we'll figure out the rest later." "What year do you plan to sell it?" "What am I - psychic or something??"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 1994's comic on:


Tags #benefits, #define reality, #half the cost, #keep objectives, #rewrite business case, #cut funding

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The Boss: I decided to cut your project funding in half but keep the objectives the same. Its a brilliant plan, We get all the benefits at half the costs! Dilbert: Why is it that the nuttiest people define reality? The boss: and why couldn't I rewrite the business case to increase revenue?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 1994's comic on:


Tags #donuts, #contains memo, #fired, #termination notice, #humane, #ate the memo, #Wally, #3 donuts

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss hands around a box of donuts and says, "One of these donuts contains a memo which fires the recipient." The Boss continues, "This seemed like the most humane way to reduce headcount." As they walk out of the conference room, Dilbert says, "How was your donut?" Wally replies, "The first two were great. The third was papery."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 1995's comic on:


Tags #employee benefits, #eyegalsses, #support new vision, #radila keratotomy, #squinting

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Dilbert, Catbert and Wally are sitting at a conference table. Catbert says, "As director of human resources I've been asked to reduce the cost of employee benefits." Catbert says, "The company will no longer pay for eyeglasses. But we WILL support a new vision-correction procedure." Dilbert asks, "Radial Keratotomy?" Catbert answers, "Squinting."