Remove Old Makeup Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

271 Results for Remove Old Makeup

View 61 - 70 results for remove old makeup comic strips. Discover the best "Remove Old Makeup" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2005's comic on:


Tags #medical procedure, #attractive to opposite sex, #remove body part, #sounds painful

View Transcript

Transcript

There's a medical procedure that will make you more attractive to the opposite sex. "The doctors would remove part of your body and replace them with the parts from an attractive guy." "It sounds painful." "Not if you do it all at once."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2005's comic on:


Tags #harpoon, #ass, #secretary, #donut eating, #remove, #annual review

View Transcript

Transcript

"It's a harpoon. I see a lot of this." "It's caused by a combination of doughnut-eating and agitating a secretary." "Can you remove it?" "Yes, but it will just come back at Annual Review time."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2005's comic on:


Tags #after merger, #job of ceo, #old married couple

View Transcript

Transcript

"After the merger, we'll be sharing the job of CEO." "We get along great, just like an old married couple. Ha ha ha!" "He's the wife."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2007's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #human resources, #new policy, #no d drinking coffee, #remove all doubt, #policies, #evil, #honesty, #ruining the moment, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert, evil director of human resources Catbert: "Our new policy is no drinking coffee during work." "That should remove all doubt that our policies are designed for any reason other than evil." Dilbert: "Your honesty is refreshing." Catbert: "Stop ruining the moment!!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2013's comic on:


Tags #charitable organizations, #have a dream, #recycled software, #busy week, #recycled, #old software, #math programs

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I had a busy week. I recycled all of our old software and donated the zeroes and ones to math programs in poor towns. My dream is that someday every child will be able to count to one.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 2013's comic on:


Tags #automobiles (cars), #restoring old cars, #less useful, #garbage, #cars

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: My hobby is restoring old cars. Dilbert: That strikes me as slightly less useful than Wally's hobby of doing absolutely nothing. Wally: Do you restore other kinds of garbage or just cars?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #executives, #inventions, #robot replacement, #ceo, #remove chiop, #empathy routine, #scaring

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Ha ha! I wonder how many decades it will be before a robot can replace a CEO like me. Robot: It's closer than you think. All I need to do is remove this chip that controls my empathy routines. CEO: Put it back. You're scaring me. Robot: As if I care.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2008's comic on:


Tags #job interview, #fat and lazy, #safe working, #thrive on abuse, #complain, #remove tongue, #begging, #desparate

View Transcript

Transcript

Albanian: If you hire me, I will do all the jobs that the people born in this country are too fat and lazy to do. I don't require a safe working environment, and I thrive on abuse! The Boss: Do you complain much?" Albanian: I'll remove my own tongue and give it to you in a pickle jar for boss's day.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2008's comic on:


Tags #300 iq, #immortality drug, #impossible requirements, #job interview, #nobel peace prize, #time machine, #too old, #two centuires, #unix

View Transcript

Transcript

Old Man;I have all of the job requirements you're looking for." "I have an I.Q. of 300 several nobel prizes, and two centuries of unix experience, thanks to the time machine and immortality drug I invented. Catbert: That's a lot of words for 'too old.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2008's comic on:


Tags #dead squirrel, #insulting, #knitting sweater, #makeup, #meeting, #no potential benefit, #time management, #time management expert, #woman as example, #hideous outfit, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Time Management Expert Dogbert says, "Never put time into an activity that has no potential benefit." Dogbert says, "For example, why bother putting on makeup if you're going to wear that hideous outfit?" Dogbert says, "That's like knitting a sweater for a dead squirrel."