Request For Service Comic Strips - Page 7

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205 Results for Request For Service

View 61 - 70 results for request for service comic strips. Discover the best "Request For Service" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accidentally eat, #apple core, #care values, #customer service, #respect, #stem is loyalty, #teamwork, #apple product

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The Boss: "This apple will remind us of our CORE values: respect, customer service, and teamwork." Dilbert: "The apple's core is the part you throw away." The Boss: "Not always. Sometimes I accidentally eat it." Dilbert: "Maybe the stem can represent our loyalty to the company."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office relocation project, #lie, #no phone service, #new jobs, #look for new jobs, #not going well

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"The office relocation project is proceeding without any problems whatsoever." "GAAA!!! IT'S A LIE!!! OUR POSSESSIONS WILL BE LOST AND WE WILL HAVE NO PHONE SERVICE!!!" "I don't mean to worry anyone, but you should look for new jobs right away."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #combined, #dating service, #online job site, #system

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"I combined an online dating service with an online job site and an online auction site." "You tell the system everything about yourself and see if anyone wants any of it." ""I wouldn't date you or hire you, but I'll bid a dollar for your refrigerator.""

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #information promised, #ignored request, #squadron, #military squirrels, #plausible lie, #giant military squirrels, #secret lair

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Wally and Dilbert are walking down the hall. Dilbert says, "There's Ted. He never sent me the information he promised." Wally and Dilbert stop when they come up to Ted. Dilbert asks, "Why have you ignored my request, Ted?" Ted says, "I was killed by a squadron of giant military squirrels." Wally tells Dilbert, that "He doesn't respect you enough to tell a plausible lie." Dilbert screams, "I demand a PLAUSIBLE lie!" Ted responds, "Okay, maybe I WASN'T killed by giant military squirrels." Ted continues, "But I WAS imprisoned in their secret lair at the center of the earth." Wally and Dilbert are walking away. Wally: "You can't prove that one either way." Dilbert: "He did say it was a "secret" lair."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad service, #fire people, #sexy, #ceo of company

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I keep getting bad service at stores. "Do what I do."<br."I say I'm the CEO of their company and then I fire them all." "You don't look like a CEO." "Too sexy?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cable company, #abusive service windows, #regis and kelly

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Dogbert: "I'm going to work for the cable company." Dilbert: "Why?" Dogbert: "I enjoy giving people abusive service windows." Dilbert: "Oh" Dogbert: "Well, if you can't be home from March to October, then say goodbye to Regis and Kelly!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee orientation, #no time, #exercise, #long hours, #trans fat, #positive note, #payroll dedcution, #service, #save money, #dirt, #cubicle, #burial site, #health

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Employee Orientation Catbert: "This job will leave you with no time for exercise." "You will work long hours and consume trans fats until you are shaped like this." "On a positive note, our payroll deduction service allows you to save money for dirt to turn your cubicle into a burial site."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #improvement plan, #90 day, #individual honor, #valuable service, #polite, #thanks, #business

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Ted: Guess who made it onto the generic ninety-day improvement plan. I don't think of it as an individual honor. I think of it as doing a valuable service for the team. Dilbert: Should we thank him? Wally: Are we polite now?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #request, #broken computer, #borrow one, #selfish tools, #coffee stirres

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Dilbert says, "I didn't work on your request this week because my computer is broken and my company is too cheap to replace it." Dilbert says, "I tried to borrow one, but the people I work with are a bunch of selfish tools." A man says, "Maybe I shouldn't take you on sales calls." Dilbert says, "So I built a tiny fort out of coffee stirrers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech support, #imitates german, #secretary, #complaint service, #calls loser

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Dogbert's Tech Support Dogbert says, "Please hold while I escalate your complaint about my service." Dogbert says, "Hallow. Dis ees Doogbert's sooper-biser. You are a stupid, stupid, loooser." Dogbert says, "Ookay, pleeze hoold while I escooolade eben furder."