Research On Excuses Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

151 Results for Research On Excuses

View 61 - 70 results for research on excuses comic strips. Discover the best "Research On Excuses" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Cares For Elbonian Baby

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Cares For Elbonian Baby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #babies, #excuses, #misunderstanding, #office workers, #Parenting, #work, #adoption, #negligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: How's it working out with the Elbonian baby you adopted? Wally: Great! Now I have lots of excuses for missing work, and I still look like a saint. Carol: What kind of daycare are you using? Wally: I just sprinkle cheerios on the floor and lock the door.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #research facilities, #work home, #2 days, #twice as prodcutive, #elaborate science experiment, #commute to sit in box, #control group, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I work at home for two days per week? I can be twice as productive, and happier at the same time. Boss: I probably shouldn't tell you this... but you're part of an elaborate science experiment to see how much frustrations it takes to kill employees. Why else would the company make you commute for two hours a day just to sit in a tiny box? Don't feel bad: no one told me either. I had to piece it together from the evidence. Now I do my part to keep the experiment moving along. Dilbert: Other people work from home. Boss: Are you referring to the control group?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #stress, #creative, #ethical shortcuts, #less honest, #questions, #uncomfortable, #job interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Interview Alice: Are you creative? Man: Oh, yes. I'm very creative. Alice: Research tells us that creative people take ethical shortcuts and are generally less honest. Man: Ooh. Alice: Do you take a long time to do things? Man: I don't know the right answer!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #job interview, #work long hours, #14 hour days, #bad descions, #bad decision maker, #good communicator

View Transcript

Transcript

Interview Alice: Can you work long hours if needed? Man: Yes. It's normal for me to work 14 hours a day. Alice: Research shows that working long hours causes people to make bad decisions. So we know you're a bad decision maker. Are you a good communicator? Man: Is the right answer "no"?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #embarrassment, #obliviousness, #hired consultant, #less confident, #overconfident people, #don't recognize mistakes, #didn't know studies, #feel like idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a consultant to teach us how to be less confident. Dilbert: Is that because research has shown that overconfident people don't recognize their own mistakes? Boss: Now I feel like an idiot because I didn't know about those studies. Dogbert: I did him first.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #brainstorm, #discussion, #less effective, #meetings, #new product ideas, #stem cell technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Let's brainstorm new product ideas. Remember, the most important rule of brainstorming is no criticizing. Dilbert: I'll go first. Research shows that brainstorming is less effective than people working by themselves and later comparing ideas. My idea is to use stem cell technology to design bosses who aren't ignoramuses. Remember, you're not supposed to criticize ideas. But if you decide to do it anyway, it sort of proves my point. I understand whey brainstorming has a bad reputation, but it doesn't stop me from enjoying it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #patent, #budget, #raise

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "My patent will make fifty million dollars for the company, so I thought maybe you could afford to give me a raise." The Boss replies, "Unfortunately, the profit bucket is not connected to the budget bucket, so there's no money for a raise." Dilbert says, "I think some recognition of a job well-done is appropriate here." The Boss replies, "Thanks. It WAS one of my better excuses."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #all worked up, #complain about attitude, #escalated, #low priority tasks, #emergency

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Stop whatever you're doing and go research the answer to this question. Brad: I don't have time to work on low-priority tasks. Alice: Give me ten minutes to transform it into an emergency. Brad is being unhelpful. I need you to talk to his boss. Boss: Sure. Brad refuses to help Alice. Brad's Boss: Help her do what? Boss: I don't know, but obviously it's very important because it got escalated. Brad's Boss: It must be an emergency because everyone is all worked up about it. Alice: Now hum a happy tune or I'll complain about your attitude.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #organ donor, #reorganizations, #unwanted employees, #what job

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Sometimes I think these constant reorganizations are just excuses for getting rid of unwanted employees. Wally: what job did you end up with? Dilbert: Organ donor Wally: My shoulder is acting up. Do I talk to you or is there a form to fill out? Dilbert: I don't think thats an "Organ"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #techno geek, #shy, #boring, #gullible, #spider on arm, #controlling, #manipulate, #bust, #fool

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "In market research terms, you belong to the 'techno geek' segment." "You're shy, boring, gullible and male. You prefer computers to people. There's always a spider on your arm." "Made you look."