Ruin The System Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

300 Results for Ruin The System

View 61 - 70 results for ruin the system comic strips. Discover the best "Ruin The System" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #crossgrain on accounting, #system, #lose respect, #job security, #whole job, #accounts erceivable, #not expense, #no complaints

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss has his arm around Asok. He says to Ed, "Ed, I want you to crosstrain Asok on the accounting system." The Boss continues, "And don't worry that you'll lost respect and job security if Asok learns your whole job in one day." Asok and Ed are sitting at a computer. Asok says, "I don't think 'Accounts Receivable' is an expense." Ed replies, "No one has complained yet."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accounting system, #dysfunctional, #meaningless, #payroll exppenses, #zero, #management genius

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok and Ed are sitting at a computer. Ed looks irritated. Asok says, "Your accounting system is so dysfunctional that the results are meaningless." Asok continues, "How is it possible that no one has noticed?" Ed replies, "I've always wondered about that." The Boss is sitting at his desk. He thinks to himself, "My payroll expenses are zero again. I'm a management genius."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #training cd, #brainwashed, #cuborg, #insurance, #cosmetic surgery, #jump off roof, #game system

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok is half cyborg. He sits on the doctor's table and says, "My training CD went bad and brainwashed me to become a cyborg." The doctor responds, "Your insurance doesn't cover cosmetic surgery but you can game the system by jumping off the roof." Asok is on the roof, standing next to a man with intensely large ears. The man says to Asok, "I hear that the follow-up visits don't get any easier."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accounting system, #accounting troll, #groupies, #worse place, #finance troll, #project

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to an accounting troll, "I need you to be a subject matter expert on my accounting system project." The troll asks, "Will it make the world a worse place to live?" Dilbert replies, "I think so." The troll continues, "I'm in." Dilbert asks, "What's it like to be an accounting troll?" The troll responds, "To be honest, I'm only in it for the groupies."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accounting system, #less transparent, #investors, #bad people, #corrupt corporate culture

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, the troll, and Asok are meeting. Dilbert says, "Our assignment is to make our accounting system less transparent." Asok asks, "What?" Dilbert turns to Asok and says, "We don't want investors to know what we're doing." Asok asks, "Are we bad people?" Dilbert responds, "We're good people who have been influenced by a corrupt corporate culture." Asok says, "Oh, okay. Carry on."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #amorphous ad comapny, #campaign, #gaseous cloud, #some music, #ruin ad, #Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "I hired the 'Amorphous Ad Company' to do our campaign." The advertising executive says, "I see a gaseous cloud and some music... No, just a noise." The Boss replies, "Excellent." The Boss asks, "And then we say the name of our company?" The advertising executive replies, "Sure, if you want to ruin the ad."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #software, #week, #ordering system, #honeymoon, #two weeks, #parole board, #outside system, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says into the phone, "And I need the software in a week." The voice on the other end of the line says, "Cheryl is the only one who knows the ordering system." The woman on the other end of the line says into the phone, "She's on her honeymoon for two weeks. You need CFO approval to buy software outside the system." Dilbert responds, "Fine. I'll talk to the CFO. When will he be available?" The voice responds, "Depends on the parole board."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bio metric, #security system, #checks pulse, #heat, #fingerprints, #Wally, #indentify

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss introduces an employee, "Bob will demonstrate our new biometric security system." Bob motions towards the machine and says, "The system checks for pulse, heat and fingerprints to identify each employee." Wally puts his hand on the machine and says, "It says I don't have any of those things." Bob replies, "Are you the one they call Wally?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #40 hours, #everyone, #likes asok, #minute old, #new system, #work one computer, #extreme programming

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally, Dilbert, Asok, and Alice, "We're going to try something called Extreme Programming." The Boss continues, "First, pick a partner. The two of you will work at one computer for forty hours a week." Dilbert and Alice jump on Asok and cling to him. Wally says, "The new system is a minute old and I already hate everyone."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #extreme programming, #ruin my life, #user story, #Features

View Transcript

Transcript

Extreme Programming. Dilbert says to a business associate, "I can't give you all of these features in the first version." Dilbert continues, "And each feature needs to have what we call a 'user story.'" The business associate responds, "Okay, here's a story: you give me all of my features or I'll ruin your life.'"