Run By Attorney Comic Strips - Page 7

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181 Results for Run By Attorney

View 61 - 70 results for run by attorney comic strips. Discover the best "Run By Attorney" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #judicial proceedings, #lawyer, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #hypothetical, #hypocracy, #jury duty, #standing, #less, #people, #executioner, #client

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The defense lawyer says, "Okay, let's say that, hypothetically, my client did kill those people . . ." His client is holding an ax and wearing an executioner's hat. The attorney says to Dilbert and the other members of the jury, "Chances are that it was nobody you know." The lawyer continues, "And the next time you're standing in a long line, ask yourself: 'Am I better off now that there are less people?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #scientist, #anti-defamation, #league, #stereotypes, #projector, #enthusiasm, #crowd

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Scientist: I'd like to start our "scientist anti-defamation league," meeting with a film about stereotypes. Do we have a volunteer to run the projector? Crowd: Me me me me me me me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #sheep, #punishment, #sheepless, #nights, #herding, #Dogbert, #sheep jokes

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The caption says, "Sheep Jokes." Dilbert and Dogbert walk through a meadow holding staffs and herding sheep. A sheep says, "Mom, he's herding me! He must think I'm a mutton for punishment! If we run away, he'll have some sheepless nights."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coffee & tea, #late, #coffee safety, #whats real, #trip, #coffee in face

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Wally: Don't start. I'm late for the mandatory coffee safety training. I'd better run. Hunh! Boss: I can't tell what's real anymore.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #elbonians, #gate, #pickaxes, #rakes, #emergency, #despot, #escape, #slingshot, #remind, #garden, #festival

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Dogbert sits on a throne wearing a miter. Dilbert yells, "A mob of Elbonians is at the gate!! They have pickaxes and rakes!!" Dogbert looks shocked. Dilbert and Dogbert run up the stairs to the roof. Dogbert yells, "Quick!! We'll take the emergency despot escape slingshot!!" As Dilbert and Dogbert fly through the air overhead, an Elbonian says to the crowd behind him, "Did anybody remind the king that today is the garden festival?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #elf, #elves, #magic, #elf magic, #Dogs, #fear, #respect, #bunny, #hat, #karl, #bug

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An elf holding a top hat says to Dogbert, "Fear us, dog! We elves are magic. Watch this!" The elf pulls a giant rabbit out of the hat. The other elves run away. The elves are bruised and their clothes are tattered. An elf says, "I think we had the dog's fear and respect . . . Until the bunny made Karl eat a bug."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #president, #united states, #charisma, #unify, #divided, #Political, #party, #democrat, #communist

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I've decided to run for President of the United States." Dogbert continues, "I'm hoping my charisma will unify a divided political party." Dilbert asks, "You're running as a Democrat?" Dogbert replies, "No, Communist. I want to have a chance."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #sues, #Dilbert, #petimoney, #amicably, #lawyers, #advised, #ugly

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Dilbert, Dogbert and a lawyer sit at a conference table. Dilbert asks, "Can't we handle this amicably, without lawyers?" The attorney whispers in Dogbert's ear. Dogbert says to Dilbert, "I've been advised that you're ugly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #sues, #ratbert, #wtiness, #alone, #drinking, #root, #beer, #underwear, #sickness

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Dogbert's lawyer says, "I call Ratbert as my first witness." Ratbert sits on the witness stand. The attorney asks, "Is it true that Dilbert is a secret cat lover who often betrayed the trust of his faithful dog?" Ratbert replies, "It's true." Ratbert continues, "I often found him alone drinking root beer and reading 'Cat Fancy' magazine in his underwear . . . It's a sickness."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alien, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #space, #television, #leaders, #world, #world domination, #parking space, #elevator, #reckless, #prank, #translator

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A television news reporter says into her microphone, "The leaders of the world met today to consider the demands of Dogbert the Space Alien." At the United Nations, a world leader says, "All in favor of letting the alien run the world raise your hand." The caption says, "Meanwhile in the translators' booth, a reckless prank is being played." Three translators with headsets sit at a table. One translator says, "He says, 'Who wants my parking space by the elevator?'"