Sales Person Comic Strips - Page 7

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406 Results for Sales Person

View 61 - 70 results for sales person comic strips. Discover the best "Sales Person" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #huge liars, #management in person, #dogbert investments

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Dogbert investments: Dogbert and Alice are in a meeting. Dogbert says: "Before I invest in a stock, I talk to the management in person." Alice says: "What good is that? They're all huge liars." Dogbert says: "You believe I really talk to them, right?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #every person, #on earth, #one person, #the entire world, #tibetan monks, #ugly website

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The Boss says to Ming, "Ming, everyone says our website is ugly." Ming replies, "Really? Every person on earth said that? Even Tibetan monks?" The Boss meekly answers, "Maybe it was just one person." Ming asked, "And you confused him with the entire planet?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #upgarding, #sales support, #unlock lexus, #guy down hall, #owns lexus

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Dilbert says to Ed, "I finished upgrading the sales support network." Ed responds angrily, "Is that why I can't unlock my Lexus?!!" Dilbert replies, "You don't own a Lexus. You only look like a guy down the hall who owns one." Ed answers, "I hate that guy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #house on fire, #servant, #killing spiders, #wounded flies, #work at home person says, #what family hears

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(What the work-at-home person says.) Dilbert says to Dogbert and Catbert, "Don't disturb me unless the house is on fire." (What the rest of the family hears.) Dilbert continues, "I am your servant. My speciality is killing spiders." (What the spiders hear.) Dilbert says, "The house is full of wounded flies."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #payroll problem, #wrong person, #speak with supervisor, #forward call

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Dilbert, on the phone, says, "I'm trying to find someone who can help me with a payroll problem." A worker on the phone says, "You're close. I'm the guy who forwards your call to the wrong person." Dilbert says, "I'd like to speak with your supervisor." The voice on the other end of the line says, "I'll forward your call."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #enough engineers, #all requests, #sales support, #online data base, #contempt, #disbelief, #mixture

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Dilbert says to The Boss, "We don't have enough engineers to handle all the requests for sales support." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Build an online database to log all the requests." Dilbert says to The Boss, "It might look as if I'm staring at you with a mixture of contempt and disbelief, but I'm actually meditating."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #outsourced sales, #elbonian company, #complex technology, #bad string, #call back, #mud pile

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We outsourced our sales and fulfillment functions to an Elbonian company." Wally looks at Dilbert as Dilbert asks, "Um... Are you sure that's the best way to sell complex technology?" Three Elbonians and a pig each are holding a tin can with string to their ears. One Elbonian says, "Could you call back? We have a bad string."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales department, #die, #deaths, #bile, #quality control

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Man: Hello, is this the sales department? Elbonian 1: May you die a thousand deaths by choking on your own bile. Supervisor may be monitoring this call for quality control, Elbonian 2: Its good.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #soul mates, #one per person, #everyone gets one, #monkey, #animals

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Tina: I believe there is one true soul mate for every person. Dilbert: He must be very busy. Tina: I meant one per person. your way would be stupid. Dilbert: Can your should mate be a monkey?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wally in jail, #impersonating, #dead person, #street smarts, #survive, #temporary tattoos, #gift shop

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Alice enters Dilbert's cubicle and announces, "Wally's in jail for impersonating a dead person." Alice, sipping her coffee, continues, "He'll have to use all of his street smarts to survive." Wally is seen in jail sitting next to a large man with tattoos, lifting weights. Wally grips his briefcase to himself and says, "I'll need some temporary tattoos. Which way is the gift shop?"