Same Flight Comic Strips - Page 7

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391 Results for Same Flight

View 61 - 70 results for same flight comic strips. Discover the best "Same Flight" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2002's comic on:


Tags #frequent grocery club, #memebership, #Card, #engineer spittle, #carry card, #inconvienced, #junk mail list, #charge me same

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Dilbert is at the checkout line of a supermarket. The cashier asks him, "Are you a member of our frequent grocery club?" Dilbert responds, "No, what is it?" The cashier replies, "You get a membership card that entitles you to discounts." Dilbert says, "Let's see if I have this straight..." Dilbert continues, "I'll be inconvenienced by having to fill out a form and carry your stupid card around..." Dilbert continues, "And in return, you'll put me on a junk mail list, and charge me the same as the grocery store across the street?" Dilbert yells, "AND YOU EXPECT ME TO BE HAPPY ABOUT IT?!!" The customer in line behind Dilbert says, "But it's free!" The cashier says into the intercom, "Cleanup on register two.. it's engineer spittle."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 2001's comic on:


Tags #key employees, #Catbert, #write in, #insane, #hr department, #interoffice envelope, #same job as enevelope, #funkey, #downsize employees

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The Boss hands a piece of paper to Carol and says, "Carol, take this list of key employees to Catbert." Carol looks at the list and says, "I don't see my name on here. Should I write it in?" The Boss responds, "Um.. no. You're not a key employee." Carol stands up and screams, "What?! Are you insane?!! If I'M not key, who is?" She continues, "Do you think this list can walk to the H.R. department on its own?" The Boss responds, "Well, I could put it in an interoffice envelope and mail it." He continues, "Basically, you have the same job as an envelope." Carol hands Catbert the list. Catbert asks, "Why do I need to downsize these employees?" To which Carol answers, "Because they're funKEY, just like it says."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2014's comic on:


Tags #efficiency experts, #Advice, #consultatn, #cms, #same advice, #pay to leave

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Boss: On the advice of our consultant, we're going to rewrite the CMS from scratch. Alice: How much did you pay the consultant for the same advice your employees gave you for free? Boss: I don't pay consultants for advice. I pay them to leave.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2014's comic on:


Tags #competition (psychology), #embarrassed, #dress the same, #everyday, #reserve of willpower, #fashion decisions, #work, #wrote and app, #importance of routine

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Tina: Do you ever feel embarrassed that you dress the same way every day? Dilbert: No. Do you ever feel embarrassed that you don't understand the importance of routine in managing your limited reserve of willpower? Tina: I made 75 fashion decisions before breakfast. Dilbert: I wrote an app.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2014's comic on:


Tags #budgets, #deadlines, #logic, #obliviousness, #projects, #reasoning, #software upgrade, #rolled out, #estimated finish date, #same way, #failure, #on budget

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Coworker: The software upgrade will be written and rolled out in three months. Dilbert: Has any project of this complexity ever been completed by the estimated finish date? Coworker: Not yet. We're confident we'll be the first. Dilbert: Is that because you're doing things differently from all of those who went before and failed? Coworker: No. We're doing things exactly the same way as the people who failed. Dilbert: Do you see what I'm getting at? Coworker: No, not really. And we expect to be on budget. Wally: Snork!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2014's comic on:


Tags #anger, #clothing, #dress code, #dress codes, #fashion, #matching, #same outifits, #ale, #dfemale, #slap to death

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Dilbert: Hey, it's the first day of our new dress code and we wore exactly the same outfits! Alice: If you ever say that again I will rip out your tongue and use it to slap you to death. Dilbert: Is it because I wore it better?

Planning To Lose

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Planning To Lose - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 27, 2014's comic on:


Tags #failure, #insulting, #planning, #business plan, #plan for failure, #losers, #angry, #same page

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Dilbert: If our business plan fails, do we have a plan for that? Boss: Only losers plan for failure. Dilbert: I think we're on the same page, but for some reason you're angry about it.

Seventeen Hour Flight To Elbonia

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Seventeen Hour Flight To Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #fair, #comfort, #flying, #money, #budget, #cost, #selfish

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Dilbert: The flight to Elbonia is seventeen hours. Can I fly business class? Boss: No, because your pain will be temporary, but I won't get my bonus if I go over budget. Try being a team player for once. Dilbert: I didn't know Satan had a team.

Picking The Spaceship Staff

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Picking The Spaceship Staff - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2016's comic on:


Tags #space, #space flight, #rocket, #death, #sacrifice, #astronaut, #medical

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CEO: How's the Mars spaceship project going? Boss: Good. I picked our worst employees to be on the first test flight, just in case it explodes. CEO: Good thinking. Boss: We have two ways to win and no way to lose.

Why Did The Algorithm Bump Dilbert

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Why Did The Algorithm Bump Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2017's comic on:


Tags #airlines, #air travel, #flight, #overbooking, #customer service

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Dilbert: Why did your algorithm pick me to be bumped from the full flight? Is it because I had the lowest-cost ticket? Agent: It was that plus your lack of upper body strength.