Schedule Meetings Comic Strips - Page 7
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294 Results for Schedule Meetings
View 61 - 70 results for schedule meetings comic strips. Discover the best "Schedule Meetings" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday December 15,
2001
Tags #meeting called, #discuss issues, #assign tasks, #waste of time, #meetings, #become lifeform, #reproducing human josts
Transcript
Dilbert walks into a meeting and asks, "Who called this meeting?" The male coworker replies, "We thought you did." The coworker continues, "I think we should discuss issues and assign tasks so it's not a complete waste of time." Dilbert responds, "Maybe meetings have become a lifeform capable of calling themselves and thus reproducing via human hosts." The male coworker turns to the female coworker and says, "Good issue." She replies, "Wow!"
Monday March 04,
2002
Tags #staff meetings, #late for meetings, #ten minutes, #stupid stuff, #fine work, #noticing
Transcript
The Boss addresses a meeting, "Can anyone tell me why everyone is always late for my staff meetings?" Alice responds, "Because the first ten minutes are always stupid stuff like 'What are people late?'" Dilbert turns to Alice and says, "Alice, that was some of your finest work." Alice responds, "Thank you for noticing."
Friday July 05,
2002
Tags #improve morale, #want drinking enough, #coffee meetings, #never leave table
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally, "I'm having these coffee meetings to find out how I can improve morale." Wally responds, "My only problem was that I wasn't drinking enough coffee with you. So now I'm good, thanks." Wally continues, "Promise me you'll never leave this table. I can't go back to the way things were."
Thursday April 03,
2003
Tags #reapir, #defective co workers, #paramoid, #invited to meetings, #fix her, #trade in, #liar, #moron, #whistler
Transcript
Dilbert carries Peri Noid over his shoulder towards a shop with a sign that reads, "Repair Defective Co-workers." Dilbert holds Peri up and says to The Garbageman, "She's paranoid about not being invited to meetings. Can you fix her?" The Garbageman replies, "Nope." Dilbert asks, "Can I trade her in?" The Garbageman responds, "Would you like a liar, a moron, or a whistler?"
Saturday May 24,
2003
Tags #focus on execution, #excuse poepl, #look like accident, #two hours long, #meetings
Transcript
The Boss' boss shakes his finger at The Boss and says, "You've got to focus on execution!" The Boss is puzzled. The Boss says to Catbert, "I think he wants me to execute people." Catbert responds, "Make it look like an accident." The Boss announces at a meeting, "From now on, my staff meetings will be two hours long." Alice and Wally sob.
Monday March 08,
2004
Tags #unverifiable prodcutivity, #phone call, #built consensus, #attended meetings, #set priorities
Transcript
Wally: "This week I achieved unprecedented levels of unverifiable productivity." "I made phone calls, built consensus, displayed leadership, attended meetings and set priorities." "And then we have this meeting."
Monday May 17,
2004
Tags #secret society, #executive secretaries, #subjugation, #humiliation, #misery, #afternoon, #schedule
Transcript
"Today is the day that the secret society of executive secretaries takes over the world." "Carol, what's on my schedule this morning?" "Subjugation, humiliation and misery! Ha ha ha!" "How's the afternoon."
Wednesday May 26,
2004
Tags #kodos, #morale, #mascot, #meetings, #moral improves, #bear suit, #meeting, #low morale, #idea for imprvement, #business
Transcript
The Boss: "His name is Kudos, the bear-er of good morale!" "Kudos" "He's our new mascot. He'll attend all of our meetings until morale improves." "Today is Asok's turn in the suit."
Thursday August 26,
2004
Tags #removed all chairs, #more efficient meetings, #efficiency, #what looked like
Transcript
The Boss: "I removed all the chairs to encourage more efficient meetings." "The first item on the agenda is... Ow, ow! Legs so tired... Meeting adjourned!!!" Wally: "I always wondered what efficiency looked like."
Sunday May 02,
1999
Tags #take six months, #time line, #leadership, #made me unmotivated, #foreseen or unforseen, #wally is dysfunctional, #schedule is random, #looks mad
Transcript
The Boss points to a board that says, "Time Line." He says, "The project will take six months..." He continues, "Unless there are unforeseen problems." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question." Dilbert says to the Boss, "Your leadership has made me unmotivated." Dilbert asks, "Is that considered foreseen or unforeseen?" Dilbert continues, pointing at Wally, "And Wally is dysfunctional on many levels." Wally agrees, "I really am." Dilbert asks, "Was that foreseen? Or are you saying the schedule is random?" Dilbert turns to Alice and says, "He looks mad." Alice says, "I didn't see that coming."