Second World Comic Strips - Page 7

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370 Results for Second World

View 61 - 70 results for second-world comic strips. Discover the best "Second World" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gullible world, #magazine, #cover story, #shed pounds, #yell at children, #eat your way, #be a better parent

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My new magazine is called 'Gullible World'. "This month's cover story is 'Shed Pounds by Yelling at Your Children'." "Next month will be 'Eat Your Way to Being a Better Parent'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #buy advertsising, #gullible world, #2 billion readers, #three readers

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Would you like to buy advertising in my new magazine called 'Gullible World'? "We have between one and two billion readers!" "Wow!" "I figured out how to make three readers sound like a lot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gullible world magazine, #engineering, #before and after, #picture, #before picture pose, #sexy

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"May I take your picture for a feature story in 'Gullible World' magazine?" "It's a story about how engineering makes you sexier." "Gosh, okay." "Perfect. Now all I need is someone to pose for the 'After' picture."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #power point slide, #strategy, #change the world, #delsuons, #effectiveness

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"This PowerPoint slide could change our entire company strategy." "The rest of the industry would have to copy us, and that could change the entire world!" "Someone has been having delusions of effectiveness."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineer, #infeasibility, #second opinion, #engineering

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"Dilbert says my plan won't work. I need a second opinion." "Hypothetically, if I say your plan is terrific, would I end up being the engineer who has to implement it?" "Maybe." "Your plan reeks of infeasibility."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #wages, #hiring engineers, #google, #million per year, #change the world, #average engineer pay, #money

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Interviewee: Google offered me a million dollars a year. What's your offer? Boss: Work for us and you can change the world! Interviewee: Change it how? Boss: By lowering the average pay of engineers. Hiring engineers

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #interviews, #job applicant, #second opinion, #jb hoppr, #bunny costume, #17 jobs, #2 years, #red flags, #rage issues, #passionate

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Boss: I need a second opinion on a job applicant. His name is J.B. Hopper. He dresses in a bunny costume and he's had seventeen jobs in two years. Catbert: Are there any red flags? Boss: I can't tell if he's passionate or if he has rage issues.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #design, #real world, #uninformed criticisms, #meeting, #boss, #business

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The Boss: This design will never work in the real world. Dilbert: That design is already widely used in the real world. I can come back later if you need time to concoct additional uninformed criticisms.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #second date, #first date, #links, #studies, #debunk beliefs, #feng shui, #homeopathy, #walk outside, #cellphone, #stomp, #angry, #sabotage, #romance

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Dilbert says, "After our first date, I pulled together some links to studies that debunk every belief you have." Dilbert says, "I alphabetized them. For example, here's Feng Shui, then homeopathy, then horoscope." Dilbert says, "That's okay. I always budget a little extra for second dates."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #same facial hair, #weird haitdo, #unique, #need to be original

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Coworker says, "Gaaa!!! The second-uncoolest person in the world has my same facial hair!" Coworker says, "And the uncoolest person in the world is clean-shaven. You're leaving me no place to go!" Later that month Alice says, "I don't see it catching on." Coworker says, "Give it time."