Sell Key Boards Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

200 Results for Sell Key Boards

View 61 - 70 results for sell key boards comic strips. Discover the best "Sell Key Boards" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2007's comic on:


Tags #dinner set up, #key, #everyone invited, #expect carol, #key employees, #mints

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Carol, set up a dinner for all key employees." Carol: "Which ones are key?" "That would be everyone except um...you." "I curse your dinner!" "I'll bring you some mints...if they have extras."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2012's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #key to success, #knowing when to quit

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Persistence is the key to success. The other key is knowing when to quit. Dilbert: The right time for you was one sentence sooner.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 2012's comic on:


Tags #prosperity, #persistence, #key to success, #know when to quit, #contardcitory, #flexibilty

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Persistence is the key to success. The other key to success is knowing when to quit. Dilbert: Your advice is contradictory nonsense. Boss: Because flexibility is the key to success.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2008's comic on:


Tags #corporate raider, #sold assets, #sell assets, #brains and spirits, #muobu, #impaler, #next auction, #spirits

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "A corporate raider bought the company and sold off all the assets." Dilbert says, "Well, he can sell our assets but we still have our brains and our spirits!" Dogbert says, "And the brains go to Mutobu the Impaler. Our next auction is for their spirits." BAM

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2010's comic on:


Tags #open door policy, #office, #look over shoulder, #suspicious, #core systems, #key processes, #pointless question, #act randomly

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "What's more important- our core systems or our key processes?" Wally says, "If there's no clear answer to that question, I'll continue to act randomly." The Boss says, "Get out of my office." Wally says, "The open door policy probably looked good on paper."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2010's comic on:


Tags #recalibarating, #faith in humanity, #reading opinions, #message boards

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: what are you up to? Im recalibrating my lack of faith in humanity, dilbertL will this take long? Dogbert: no, I start by reading opinions awn message boards and.... Dilbert: I can come back later. Dogbert: You ignorant juice bag

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 2005's comic on:


Tags #audit, #150 million, #software system, #scrap entire thing, #worthless, #norma software system, #clever combo, #tweak it, #sell the zeros, #few minutes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "I completed the audit of your new $150 million software system." "I recommend that you scrap the entire thing." "What?!! How could the entire thing be worthless?" "Well, your normal software system would be a clever combination of ones and zeros." "Yours is all ones." "There must be some way to tweak it until it works." "My company can sell you all the zeros you need. But you'll have to arrange them yorself." "Whe you have a few minutes, I have a little assignment for you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2005's comic on:


Tags #take the chair, #don't sell chairs, #sell hope, #hope of chairs, #ship in 2 months, #call and yell, #buy a chair

View Transcript

Transcript

SALE "I'll take that chair." "Excellent choice." "Now sit there quietly and try not to ask the one question that will kill this sale." "Is the chair in stock?" "GAAA!!!" "The truth is that we don't sell chairs at all. We sell the hope that a chair will someday be made for you." "How long will that take?" "If I could answer that question, it would be the same as selling you an actual chair." "How about if I tell you it will ship in two months, and you call and yell at me every three months for eternity?" "Did you buy a chair?" "There's no way to know."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2005's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #fly on plane, #guidelines, #key employees, #ceo, #presdient, #same flight, #interns, #run with sciccors, #plastic bags, #over heads

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "I have new guidelines on who can fly on the same plane." "We can't risk losing too many key employees." "The CEO and the president are not allowed to be on the same flight." "No more than three vice presidents may be on the same flight." "What are the guidelines for interns?" "Infinite interns are allowed on the same flight. You are also allowed to run with scissors and put plastic bags over your heads." "How many interns are allowed per plastic bag?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 2005's comic on:


Tags #scarf retrun, #salesman, #computer, #1000 returns, #compulsive, #company policy, #harvest organs, #sell ebay, #dilmom, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'd like to return this scarf." "What's wrong with it?" "It isn't um...scarfy enough." "I'll just run your card through the computer and..." "Uh-oh...You're on our Bad Customer list. You've returned over a thousand items to this store." "In fact, you've purchased and returned this same scarf seventeen times." "Company policy says that I have to harvest your organs and sell them on eBay." "It was good while it lasted."