Shocked Comic Strips - Page 7
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68 Results for Shocked
View 61 - 68 results for shocked comic strips. Discover the best "Shocked" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday June 02,
2010
Tags meeting, presentation, slide show, names, trademarked, hand motion, crotch area, wide eyes, shocked, gross, point, war criminals, nicknames, partnerless loving, business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "This next slide shows all of the possible names for our product that are not already trademarked." The Boss says, "Are there any that don't remind people of this general area of the human body?" Dilbert says, "That narrows it down to the names of accused war criminals, and the funnier nicknames for partnerless loving."
Monday July 13,
2009
Tags Environment, cups, paper, hot, ridiculous, animal, shocked, crazy
Transcript
The boss says, "Our company had replaced styrofoam cups with paper cups to save the planet." The boss says, "They work just as well if you use a dead squirrel as an oven mitten." The boss says, "This one still has some fight left in him."
Tuesday September 08,
2009
Sunday January 15,
2006
Transcript
"I gave Tom his two weeks' notice. You'll have to do his job until I replace him." "He's a bit disgruntled, but I'm sure he'll be a professional and train you before he leaves." "I was shocked and appalled to hear that you got fired." Grrr grrr "He isn't buying my fake sympathy." Grrr grrr "Sooo...How about a little training?" "Everything you need is in this irreplaceable binder." CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP "I probably won't get you a card."
Sunday July 17,
2005
Tags wrong budget, no probelms, unrealitic, failure, deceptive forecstas, believe the lie, deception, optimism, few hours, perfect budget
Transcript
"This budget would only work if the project encountered no problems whatsoever." "So?" "All projects have unexpected problems. Therefore, this budget is almost certainly wrong." "Leaders do not plan for failure." "Do leaders make deceptive forecasts and later act shocked when things don't work out?" "No." "A leader first makes himself believe the lie, thus turning deception into an inspiring form of optimism. Observe." "GAAA!!! BELIEVE! BELIEVE!" "The swelling will go down in a few hours. Then we'll have a perfect budget." "What?"
Sunday July 15,
2001
Tags save money, each unit, idea, vp, beter ideas, fist of death, something hits me, alice punches
Transcript
Carol sits in her cubicle saying to the Boss, "...and that way we'll save money on each unit we build." The Boss replies, "Let's try that idea with our VP." Alice and the Boss sit in front of the VP. The VP says, "Wow. Great idea. Who thought of it?" Alice and the Boss both sit looking pleased. The Boss says, "Well, I have to admit..." The Boss continues, "It's one of my better ideas." Alice sits totally shocked. Alice stands furious and shaking, thinking, "Must...control...fist of death." The Boss continues, "Sometimes I'll just be standing there..." Alice thinks, "GAAA!" as the Boss continues, "And POW! Something hits me." Alice and the VP stand on either side of the Boss' legs up in the air. Alice says, "Thank you." The VP holds out her shaking hand and says, "I tried to control it but I couldn't."
Monday March 05,
2018
Elbonian Slave Labor
Tags employees, slave, wages, compensation, minimum wage, morality, business, money
Transcript
Boss: Management was shocked to learn that the company we acquired had been using Elbonian slave labor. We immediately replaced them with minimum wage employees who have no hope of career advancement. Wally: You did the right thing. Boss: That's how it felt.


