Similar System Comic Strips - Page 7

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250 Results for Similar System

View 61 - 70 results for similar system comic strips. Discover the best "Similar System" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2002's comic on:


Tags #bio metric, #security system, #checks pulse, #heat, #fingerprints, #Wally, #indentify

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The Boss introduces an employee, "Bob will demonstrate our new biometric security system." Bob motions towards the machine and says, "The system checks for pulse, heat and fingerprints to identify each employee." Wally puts his hand on the machine and says, "It says I don't have any of those things." Bob replies, "Are you the one they call Wally?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2003's comic on:


Tags #40 hours, #everyone, #likes asok, #minute old, #new system, #work one computer, #extreme programming

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The Boss says to Wally, Dilbert, Asok, and Alice, "We're going to try something called Extreme Programming." The Boss continues, "First, pick a partner. The two of you will work at one computer for forty hours a week." Dilbert and Alice jump on Asok and cling to him. Wally says, "The new system is a minute old and I already hate everyone."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2003's comic on:


Tags #user requirements, #build system, #some actual work, #crazy talk

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Dilbert is meeting with a client. Dilbert says, "I'll design the system as soon as you give me the user requirements." The client responds, "Better yet, you could build the system, then I'll tell your boss that it doesn't meet my needs." Dilbert says, "I don't mean to frighten you, but you'll have to do some actual work." The client responds, "That's crazy talk."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 2003's comic on:


Tags #mandatory online training, #system crashed, #retake training

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"You're the only one who hasn't finished the mandatory online six sigma training." "I finished it, but the system crashed before it stored my data." "This is when you say, 'There's no need to retake the training. I'll just check off your name.'" "Are you new on this planet?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 2003's comic on:


Tags #send broadband, #send data, #sewer system

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The Boss: Our competitors found a way to send broadband internet traffic over the power grid. I want you to find a way to send data via the sewer system. Wally: I thought I was already doing it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2003's comic on:


Tags #internet traffic, #good thing, #under sewage, #breathe through straw, #grateful, #sewer system

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Wally: "Asok, would you like to join a doomed project for sending internet traffic over the sewer system?" Asok: "Absolutely! I might be young and inexperienced, but I know a good thing when I see it!" Wally: "I need you to work under the sewage and breathe through a straw." Asok: "I get a straw?!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2003's comic on:


Tags #new hire, #guy, #bothering workers, #love golf, #rain tomorrow, #plans, #sad paper body, #roll in salt, #scoring system

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Man: "I love golf. Golfing is fun. It's a good day to golf. Do you want to go golfing in the rain tomorrow at 6 A.M.?" Wally: "No, thanks. I have plans to sandpaper my entire body and roll around in salt." Man: "I hope no one ever creates a scoring system for that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2004's comic on:


Tags #cpr on blob, #fire in break room, #sprinkler system, #water melketed, #witch melted

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The Boss: "When I found out that the manager who replaced me was a witch, I set a fire in the break room." "The automatic sprinkler system came on and melted her. Witches don't like water." "Are you glad to have me back?" "I've been doing CPR on this blob for two days."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2004's comic on:


Tags #trolls, #hell, #payroll system, #automated sadistic, #phone system, #tech support, #complicated

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Asok: Are you the troll that handles our payroll system? I have a problem. Troll: problems are handled by our automated sadistic phone system. ASOK: For tech support, press the exact value of 22 divided by 7

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2004's comic on:


Tags #accounting system, #profitable, #manage randomlt, #claim success, #funding, #hug

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"Our accounting system is so inaccurate that we don't know how profitable anything is." "It's so bad that you could manage randomly and claim success no matter what happens." "I was looking for funding, not a hug."