Small Office Comic Strips - Page 7
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View 61 - 70 results for small office comic strips. Discover the best "Small Office" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share October 17, 1998's comic on:
Catbert stands on a desk facing the Boss. Catbert says, "We'll take away the cubicle walls and force emplyees to work in an "open plan" office." Catbert says, "Surveillance cameras will record their every move. We'll monitor phone calls and web use. We'll even test their blood!" The Boss says, "Can we flog them?" Catbert says, "Whoa, cowboy! Wait for phase two."
Share June 25, 1995's comic on:
The Boss, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss hands Alice a paper and says, "Take care of this, Alice." Alice says, "'Take care of this'? This would double my workload." Alice says, "I've already got so many projects that I can't do anything useful with any of them." Alive continues, "But if success is impossible then . . . I'm . . free . ." Alice laughs and shouts, "Free! Free!" Alice sings, "The result will be the same no matter what I do! Yes yes yes." Alice grabs the Boss's hair and says, "Honk honk!" The Boss says, "Moving along . . . We need to inventory our office equipment." Dilbert says, "Sounds like a job for Alice."
Share April 28, 1996's comic on:
The Boss approaches Dilbert and Alice carrying a box. He says, "Great news! The company set a new record for profits!" The Boss continues, "That means t-shirts for everyone!" The Boss continues, "You can choose from sizes 'small,' 'petite' or 'elfin.'" Alice holds up a shirt and asks, "Shouldn't these have the company name or logo on them?" The Boss replies, "Hey, that's an idea for next year!" Alice reads the label and says, "It's 1 percent cotton, 99 percent 'miscellaneous' and all hand-made by authentic slave laborers." Dilbert replies, "That's great! With slave labor you don't have the problem that the shirts made on Fridays aren't as good!" Alice asks, "Do you ever worry that our career expectations have gotten too low?" Dilbert says, "Don't go there, Alice." Wally walks in wearing a small shirt and says, "'Casual day,' here I come!"
Share May 12, 1996's comic on:
Tags #new vp, #cost containment, #first priority, #reduce expenses, #office supplies, #supply cabinet locked, #butter efficient secreatray, #naive question, #dispirited hollow shells, #product shoddy, #get supplies, #like honesty
The Boss, Alice, Dilbert, Asok, Wally and an executive sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I'd like you all to meet our new vice president in charge of cost containment." The VP says, "My first priority is to reduce our spiraling expenses for office supplies." The VP continues, "From now on, your supply cabinet will be locked." The VP continues, "The only key will be under the control of your bitter and inefficient secretary. Questions?" Asok raises his hand and says, "I am only an intern so please excuse this naive question . . ." Asok continues, "I've noticed that the employees are all dispirited hollow shells, management is random and our products are shoddy." Asok asks, "How are you going to solve that by making it hard to get supplies?" The VP looks angry. Asok says to Wally, "I thought you said they like honesty." Wally whispers, "Ask how much he's paid. It shows you care."
Share July 14, 1996's comic on:
Alice sits at her desk. The Boss enters and says, "According to this phone bill, you've been making personal calls." The Boss continues, "That's like stealing from the company, Alice." Alice clenches her teeth, holds her fist and thinks, "Must . . . Control . . . Fist . . . Of . . . Death . . ." Alice looks at the telephone bill and says, "I only spent eighty cents to tell my family I was working late." Alice says, "Here's a dollar. The extra twenty cents is for the personal thought that I'm about to have on company time." Alice closes her eyes and imagines the Boss tied up with rope. She pictures handing him a stick of dynamite. Alice says, "And here's my bill for $40,000 in unpaid overtime that the company stole from me." The Boss replies, "That's not stealing; that's being competitive." Alice says, "I think I'll be competitive with a few bushels of office supplies later today."
Share October 02, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert: Carolf, I need yo document your procedure for ordering office supplies. Its and ISO 9000 requirement. Carol: If someone asks for something, I check first the supply cabinet first. Then I say, "Theres one left You can't have it because then we'd be all out" Carol: Then I spend the rest of the day complaining about the person who asked. Dilbert: Uh - Oh....Im out of ink.
Share October 12, 1997's comic on:
At the staff meeting, The Boss pokes his head in and says, "I have to make a quick phone call." Dilbert says, "Do you want to make small talk?" Wally says, "No." Wally says, "I brought a magazine." Dilbert asks,"Could you tear out a few pages for me to read?" Wally says, "That wouldn't be right." Dilbert says, "Give me some pages or else I'll ask Alice about panty hose." Dilbert says, "You wouldn't dare." Dilbert says, "So, Alice, what do you think about the concept of panty hose?" Alice screams, "Aaargh!! What moron invented leg covers that can be destroyed by touching a twig?!" Wally tears some pages out from his magazine and offers them to Dilbert saying, "Make it stop!" Dilbert says, "Too late." Alice puts her legs up on the table and says, "Look at this!!!"
Share January 12, 1999's comic on:
Wally's hair grows long. Wally says, to Asok, "Watch this, Asok. I start out looking like a middle-aged guy with bad hair..." Wally says, "But simply by putting my hair in a ponytail, I transform into...." Wally pulls his hair back. Wally says, "The coolest guy in the office." Asok says, "Curse your for raising the bar for us all!"
Share March 20, 1999's comic on:
Alice is in the boss' office. The boss says, "I have to disagree with you Alice." Alice says, "Have you noticed that every time we disagree, I'm eventually proved correct?" Alice says, "Every SINGLE TIME!!!" The boss says, "Yes, but I'M always right initially."
Share May 04, 1999's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of a conference room. A man's cell phone rings and he says, "Continue with your presentation while I take this quick call." Dilbert says, "Go ahead and ignore me, you vice presidential pile of stinkin' monkey.." The man says, "Okay, bye." Dilbert says, "Crapital spending." The man says, "Look how small my phone is."