Smartest Human Alive Comic Strips - Page 7

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368 Results for Smartest Human Alive

View 61 - 70 results for smartest human alive comic strips. Discover the best "Smartest Human Alive" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 2002's comic on:

Tags #human resources, #cubicle, #grim reeper, #layoffs, #stranger, #business

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "Human Resources is sending a designated firer to do layoffs." The Boss turns quickly and waves his hands in an employee's face. The Boss says, "If a stranger approaches your cubicle, it means you're toast!" The employee exclaims, "Gaaa!!!" A hooded weasel with a knife approaches Carol. He says, "Hell-o-o-o, Carol." He pauses and then continues, "Can you tell me where Ted sits?" Carol exclaims, "Gaaa!!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 2003's comic on:

Tags #human resources, #evil director, #severance package, #spittle, #laugh, #purr, #bad package, #business

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Catbert: Evil director of Human Resources. "What kind of severance package do I get?" "I can't decide if I should laugh or purr, but there's definitely spittle in your future." "This is a bad package." "PURRRR-HA-HA HA-PURRRRR-HA HA-PURRRR!!!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2004's comic on:

Tags #evil director, #human resources, #been excessed, #yoga move, #rageful comments, #hope for a hug, #business

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources "Your position has been excessed, or as I prefer to say..." "I will tear the flesh from your bones!" "Phew! I love that yoga move." "There is like, no hope for a hug, right?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2004's comic on:

Tags #80 hour week, #crazy talk, #less work, #loofah, #evil director, #human resources, #business

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Alice: Im working 80 hours a week. I barely have time to bathe. Catbert: try using your tongue during meetings, Its like a bath and a loofah all in one. Alice: Or I could do less work. Catbert: Thats crazy talk.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2004's comic on:

Tags #hairball, #stock options, #evil director, #human resources, #bous system, #kindness of management, #business

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: stock options will be replaced with a bonus system. Dilbert: So....now my happiness depends on the kindness of management instead of the gullibility of our investors? Catbert: allow me to respond by hacking a hairball in your direction.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2004's comic on:

Tags #human resources, #sow the seeds, #discontent, #massive disloyalty, #riots, #disloyalty, #business

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The boss: "Send the salary spreadsheet to Human Resources." "Don't let anyone else see it. That sort of information could sow the seeds of discontent." "We'd have massive disloyalty, fights, vandalism, maybe even riots."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2004's comic on:

Tags #suspicious, #nap, #evil director, #wellness program, #human resources, #business

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"Catbert: Evil director of human resources" "Have you heard about the employee wellness program?" "If you call in sick on a Monday or a Friday, your boss says, 'Well, well, well- that's very suspicious.'" "Now if you'll excuse me, I feel a nap coming on."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2004's comic on:

Tags #evil director, #human resources, #cubicles, #open plan, #special class, #transition, #invisible walls, #business

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CAtbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: cubicles are too expensive. we're moving to an open plan, You'll attend a special classy to ease your transition. Wally: its like he's in a cubicle with invisible walls!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 2004's comic on:

Tags #scientits, #unethical scientits, #human clone, #infomercial

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Dogbert: My wealth - building system has been verified by actual scientists. Dogbert: where can I find an unethical scientist? And if Im to busy, my human clone can do your infomercial. Dogbert: good prices.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2004's comic on:

Tags #evil director, #human resources, #good news employee, #trunover, #scented kitty litter, #downhill, #quality, #business

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources