Software Division Comic Strips - Page 7
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332 Results for Software Division
View 61 - 70 results for software division comic strips. Discover the best "Software Division" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday July 03,
1999
Tags #dogberts tech support, #upgrade software, #old software, #back up data, #delete it yourself
Transcript
Caption: "Dogbert's tech support" Dogbert talks on the phone at a computer. Dogbert says, "If you upgrade your software, all of your data will be lost." Dogbert says, "But if you don't upgrade, the old software will corrupt your data one bit at a time." Dogbert says, "And if you try to back up your data, our software will hunt you down and bit-slap you until you delete it yourself."
Saturday July 24,
1999
Tags #new software, #gently warm, #key board, #easier, #laptop lighter, #market driven, #create diversion
Transcript
The boss pionts to a projection of a steaming keyboard. The boss says, "OUr new software will gently warm your keyboard so the keys are easier to press." Dilber and Wally listen. The boss says, "We'll budnle it with our software that makes your laptop lighter." The boss says, "In a word, we have become "market driven"" Wally whispers, to Dilbert, "Creat a diversion. I'll run for help."
Saturday September 18,
1999
Tags #software upgrade project, #exact opposite, #sit up, #look thinner
Transcript
The boss stands in Dilbert's cubicle. The boss says, "As you recommended, I canceled the software upgrade project." Dilbert says, "That's the exact opposite of what I recommended. You only hear what you want to hear." The boss says, "Yes, I do look thinner. It must be because of the sit-up I did yesterday."
Saturday February 05,
2000
Tags #limbo, #a division of heck, #career limbo section, #wait to be seated
Transcript
Dilbert is at the threshold of an entrance bearing the sign: "Limbo, a division of Heck." Phil, the Ruler of Heck, tells Dilbert: "Step inside." Inside, standing by a "Please wait to be seated" sign, Phil informs Dilbert: "You'll be sitting in the Career Limbo section. Goodbye." Arms akimbo, Dilbert thinks to himself: "Jeepers! The service here is terrible!"
Thursday February 24,
2000
Tags #technology demo, #software, #user interface, #not working, #gotta get some, #any questions, #engineering
Transcript
Caption reads: "The Technology Demo." Dilbert explains to the Boss and to Ted as they are reviewing the demo: "The software isn't 100% complete." Pointing at the monitor screen, Dilbert continues to explain: "If it had a user interface you would see something here...here...and sometimes here." He concludes: "And then you'd be saying, 'I gotta get me some of that.' Any questions?"
Tuesday June 13,
2000
Tags #share knowledge, #new intranet, #collaboration software, #knowledge to share, #hurst, #true, #hoarding
Transcript
Asok says to Dilbert and Wally, "Who wants to share knowlege with me via our new intranet collaboration software?" Dilbert says to Asok, "You don't have any knowledge to share." Asok replies, "Ouch. It hurts because it's true." Wally says to Dilbert, "I'm hoarding my knowledge in case I ever need it."
Thursday September 21,
2000
Tags #current version, #making changes, #slap forehead, #test software, #major changes
Transcript
The Boss asks Dilbert, "Can you test the software today?" Dilbert answers, "No. I'm making major changes Tuesday." The Boss replies, "You could test the current version." Dilbert slaps his forehead exasperated at the Boss' response. The Boss looks at Dilbert and says to himself, "I wish people wouldn't slap their foreheads and say 'Aye-yi-yi-yi' every time I talk."
Wednesday October 11,
2000
Tags #planning weddings, #temporary zombie division, #raising babies, #divorcing, #took dog, #good places booked
Transcript
The boss approaches a worker who is sitting in front of her computer, arms outstretched and eyes fixed. The boss says, "Helen, I'm transferring you to the temporary zombie division." Pushing Helen along, the boss says, "You will be with other people who are planning weddings, raising babies and divorcing." Helen is amid other zombie like workers, all with outstretched arms. A worker says, "She took my dog." Helen says, "All the good places are booked."
Friday January 05,
2001
Tags #created software, #copyrighted work, #available, #for free, #plunge, #depression, #creativity, #psychology
Transcript
Asok the Intern says to Dilbert, "I created software that makes all copyrighted work on the net available for free!" Dilbert asks Asok, "Wouldn't that destroy all forms of creativity and plunge us into a depression?" Asok says to Dilbert, "Yes... But it is very neat."
Friday May 04,
2001
Tags #software expenses, #marketing software expenses, #monkeys, #wear watches, #boss asks, #budget, #costs, #expenses
Transcript
The Boss sees Alice at her desk and asks, "Why are our software expenses higher than marketing's software expenses?" Alice replies, "For the same reason monkey's don't wear watches." Caption reads: "One hour later." The Boss returns and asks, "Does it involve fur in any way?"