Someone Else Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

495 Results for Someone Else

View 61 - 70 results for someone else comic strips. Discover the best "Someone Else" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2008's comic on:


Tags #computer, #defense, #security, #workstation, #logged in, #netowrk, #teach someone a lesson, #activating defensive wedgie system, #violated perimeter, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: This workstation is still logged in to the network. It's time to teach someone a lesson about security. I'll just go in here and... Computer: WARNING! WARNING! IDIOT ALERT! The boss: GAAA! Computer: ACTIVATING DEFENSIVE WEDGIE SYSTEM.Dilbert: I have to go. Some idiot violated my perimeter. The boss: Please make it stop. Dilbert: Then how would you learn?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2004's comic on:


Tags #internet problems, #clicking, #try something else, #not working, #crazy boss

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dilbert, come in here." "I keep clicking on this link and nothing happens." "Click click click click." "See?" "Try something else." "Why would I do that?" "The definition of insanity is: doing the same thing and expecting a different result." "Hey, it worked this time!" "What we have here is a bad precedent." "They called me 'crazy.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2002's comic on:


Tags #the master, #overworked, #carefree, #powerful secret, #volunteer, #many tasks, #complaints later, #gandhi that eats, #dont recall, #agree

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally is asleep in his cubicle. Asok enters and says, "Wally, I need advice from the master." Wally wakes up and says, "Huh?" Asok says, "How do you remain so carefree while everyone else seems so overworked?" Wally replies, "Asok, you are ready to learn my most powerful secret." Wally continues, "Always volunteer to do lots of tasks. That will make you appear very busy." Wally continues, "Later, when someone complains that you didn't do a task..." Wally continues, "Say you remember discussing the topic but you don't recall agreeing to do anything." Wally continues, "Offer a glimmer of hope that you might yet do the task if no one yells at you... Then repeat." Asok replies, "Wow." Asok walks away and thinks, "He's like a Gandhi that eats."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2000's comic on:


Tags #business manager, #for celebrities, #have locks, #life story, #sign here, #film on thursday, #someone steal your fortune, #the biography channel

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert approaches Dilbert and says, "I decided to become a business manager for celebrities." Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Why?" Dogbert replies, "Because banks have locks." A celebrity enters Dogbert's office. Dogbert says to the celebrity, "Everything you own has been put in my name...for...um...tax purposes." The celebrity replies, "You're such a good friend. How can I ever repay you?" Dogbert responds, "You can sign this. It gives me the rights to your life story." The celebrity signs the document. Dogbert says to him, "In the unlikely event that someone steals your fortune and you become a pathetic drug addict..." Dogbert continues, "...I can sell your story to the 'biography' channel." Dogbert says to the celebrity, "They start filming on Thursday."

Only Work If You'd Rather Do Something Else

Thank you for voting.
Only Work If You'd Rather Do Something Else - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2016's comic on:


Tags #fulfillment, #happiness, #satisfaction, #work ethic, #motivation, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Remember, it's only work if you'd rather be doing something else! Tina: I would rather do anything else. Boss: Oh. In that case, you're trapped in a nightmare that never ends. Tina: I have a lot riding on the afterlife.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #idea, #criticism, #inventions, #obfuscate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: And that is my idea for our new product. Are there any ignorant objections? Man: Your idea is totally ridiculous! It's like you're tying to build castles in the sky! Dilbert: Have you heard of Air Force One, the plane used by the president of The United States? That's basically a castle in the sky, and someone built it. Man: Well, if your idea is so good, why hasn't someone already done it? Dilbert: I'm guessing that everyone else had co-workers like you.

Someone Stole Phb's Idea

Thank you for voting.
 Someone Stole Phb's Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 2018's comic on:


Tags #ideas, #patent, #copyright, #invention, #credit

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Hey! Someone stole my product idea! Dilbert: To be fair, your idea would have been obvious to a monkey with a drinking problem. Boss: But a monkey couldn't build this product. Dilbert: Neither can you. Let's call it a tie.

Everyone Else Is Worthless

Thank you for voting.
Everyone Else Is Worthless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #fire, #pawn, #problems, #project, #the boss, #useless, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I'm adding you to the network upgrade project. Everyone else on the team is lazy and useless, so I need you to do all of their work. Dilbert: Maybe you should fire them. The Boss: Don't try to pawn off your problems on me.

Great Job For Someone

Thank you for voting.
Great Job For Someone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #office workers, #job, #opening, #private, #office, #opportunity, #background, #rid

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i hear there's a great job opening in operations for someone with your background. big salary, private office. looks like a great opportunity for you. office worker: are you trying to get rid of me? dilbert: not in a way you are suppose to notice.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2011's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #embarrassment, #internet & world wide web, #developed app, #spare time, #awful thing, #lees hinest, #marketing, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I developed this app in my spare time. What do you think? Dilbert: I think you made spare time look like an awful thing. If you'd like a less honest answer, I can recommend someone in marketing. Ted: I might try that.