Something Hits Me Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

606 Results for Something Hits Me

View 61 - 70 results for something hits me comic strips. Discover the best "Something Hits Me" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2011's comic on:


Tags #different, #employees, #goals, #work little, #year ahead, #your goals, #my goals, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: When I asked for your goals for the coming year, I had something different in mind. Not "work as little as possible while avoiding the wrath of the pointy-haired troll." Wally: Don't call them my goals if you mean your goals.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 27, 2011's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #gadgets, #smartphone interface rage, #perfect storm, #bad interface design, #chubby fingers, #poor signal strenth, #smashing phone, #frustrated, #can't survive, #lesser of two eveils

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Whoa! Watch out. I've read about this. It's called smartphone interface rage. It's caused by the perfect storm of bad interface design, chubby fingers, and poor signal strength. He'll get so frustrated that he'll consider smashing his phone. Then he'll realize he can't survive without his phone and he'll be twice as frustrated. We have to do something. Wally: Run as fast as you can into the wall! It will take your mind off of your phone! Sometimes the best you can hope for is that the lesser of two evils is the funny one.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2011's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #public speaking, #let slide, #power point, #presentation, #bored, #sleeping audience, #low expectations

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: And that's my last slide, any comments? Woman: You stole an hour of my life, something inside me died. I will never have another good day. Dilbert: I went in with low expectations. Wally: They can't hurt you if you're already dead.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2011's comic on:


Tags #thinking, #worry, #no probelms, #insane, #universe, #nail waiting for hammer, #pre frontal cortex, #anticipation, #too smooth, #mysteriously calm, #uncomforatbale

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm worried because I don't seem to have any problems today. Wally: Uh-oh. Dilbert: That either means I'm insane or the universe is saving up something big. Wally: Or both. Dilbert: I feel like a nail waiting to get hammered. Wally: The pre-frontal cortex is overrated.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2012's comic on:


Tags #gadgets, #market, #bigger phone, #design, #market niche, #mind out of niche

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: There's room in the market for a device that's bigger than a phone but smaller than a tablet. Dilbert: So you want me to design something that is a bad tablet and an even worse phone? Boss: To my mind, it's a market niche. Dilbert: Maybe you should get your mind out of your niche.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2012's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #public speaking, #powerpoint slides, #intelligent viwers, #manipulative anecdotes, #boss died, #praise employees

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My PowerPoint slides have a little something for everyone. For my intelligent viewers, I have data, and for the morons, I have manipulative anecdotes. Which reminds me-- did you hear about the boss who died because he didn't praise his employee?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2012's comic on:


Tags #efficiency experts, #golf, #management consultant, #initate, #golf tournament, #profits, #Sports

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a management consultant to teach us something he calls backwards causation. Dogbert: I studied the most successful companies. If you imitate them, you'll feel as if you have a strategy. Number one: sponsor a golf tournament so your CEO can meet celebrities. Boss: Profits, here we come.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2012's comic on:


Tags #consolidating, #marketing, #illusion, #golf, #ceo, #money, #shared services, #Sports, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're consolidating our marketing into a shared services model. Asok: Why? Boss: Change creates the illusion that we have a strategy while giving our CEO an excuse to fire a VP who beat him at golf. And blah, blah, something about money. Asok: Must... not... cry... on the outside.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #correlations, #predicted outcomes, #problem, #enormous ceo compensation, #myth, #control over profits, #awkward, #trap door, #ceo trick, #violent

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I did a study of our past business plans and found something. There's no correlation between our predicted and actual outcomes. That might be a problem for you. Your enormous CEO compensation is based on the myth that you have some control over our profitability. CEO: Ha! Dilbert: Ha! CEO: Is it just me or is this awkward? Dilbert: No, I'm feeling it too.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #competitors network, #elbonians, #bribe blogger, #limited capacity, #self control, #bury in woods

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you hack into our competitor's network and make it look as if the Elbonians did it? Dilbert: No. Boss: Can you bribe a blogger to write good things about our company? Dilbert: No. Boss: Now that I've worn down your limited capacity for self-control, I need you to bury something in the woods, no questions asked. Dilbert: Fine.