Start Fliting Comic Strips - Page 7
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Share December 03, 2011's comic on:
News anchor: My next guest on money - n- stuff is Dogbert the doomsday pundit, DOgbert: Goldman Sachs is forming a Hobo army to take over the world. Start hoarding anything with a pointy end. DOW 975 DOgbert: Hobo army coming. News Anchor: after the break, learn how to remove your own gold fillings,
Share December 18, 2011's comic on:
Boss: Ted can explain what you need to do before the platform upgrade. Dilbert: No he can't. Ted's brain is where knowledge goes to die. He's not good at explaining things. The knowledge might be in his brain, but it's trapped there. Unfortunately, Ted's incompetence is so unbelievable that you literally don't believe me. In time, you will assume that Ted taught me well but I forgot all of it. I'm doomed before I start. Let's just declare failure and move on. Boss: That works for me. Dilbert: Partial victory.
Share March 02, 2012's comic on:
CEO: We're going to start fracking under our biggest competitors headquarters. My plan is to pollute their water and generate earthquakes to destroy their campus. The project code name is "fracking awesome." Dilbert: Catchy.
Share June 11, 2012's comic on:
Dilbert: My headphones will cleverly discourage people from trying to chat with me. Asok: He has headphones. What do we do? Alice: Blow on his neck. Be careful. He might start flailing his noodle-sized arms in your direction.
Share April 18, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I've decided to dedicate my life to the less fortunate." Dilbert replies, "That's very noble of you, Dogbert. Will you be working with the homeless, or perhaps the hungry?" Dogbert replies, "I thought I'd start with people who didn't buy real estate in the 70's . . . Maybe work my way up to that other stuff."
Share June 14, 1989's comic on:
The caption says, "Pun wars: how they start." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm feeling a little hoarse." Dogbert asks, "Horse?" The caption says, "Escalation is inevitable." Dogbert says, "Maybe you got a colt." Dilbert replies, "I need some cough stirrup." Dogbert asks, "Are you gelding a fever?" Dilbert replies, "It's mare-ly a sore throat." Dogbert says, "Hope you filly better." Dilbert says, "Uh . . ." The caption says, "In the end, nobody wins." Dilbert says, "You're ugly!" Dogbert says, "I win."
Share November 08, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I've decided it's time to stop talking about world hunger and start DOING something!" Dilbert continues, "Let others debate policies. My time to act is now." Dogbert asks, "You're going to buy a smarmy bumper sticker, aren't you?" Dilbert replies, "Darn straight."
Share November 21, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "Okay then, suppose you had everything you wanted. What would you do?" Dogbert answers, "Gloat. Make everybody else feel like failures. Live a garish and decadent life." Dilbert asks, "And when that gets boring?" Dogbert replies, "Maybe start my own perfume company."
Share December 30, 1989's comic on:
Dogbert asks Dilbert, "Let me get this straight . . . You say that BAD grammar can become GOOD grammar over time?" Dilbert replies, "Yes. If a bunch of intellectuals start using a word wrong, then it becomes proper in common usage." Dogbert says, "Grammar would be a lot less confusing if we had smarter intellectuals."
Share February 22, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert and a woman with a huge head sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Gosh, Brainella, I've never dated a woman as smart as you before . . ." Dilbert says, "Let's just start right in talking about all kinds of smart stuff. C'mon, give me your best shot. I'm not intimidated." Brainella replies, "Not here. If your brain explodes, it'll ruin my outfit."