Strategy Meetng Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

175 Results for Strategy Meetng

View 61 - 70 results for strategy meetng comic strips. Discover the best "Strategy Meetng" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analogies, #conversation, #language, #operational, #puppet ate dictionary, #operationalize strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What can I do to help you operationalize our strategy? Dilbert: You could stop talking like a puppet that ate a dictionary. Boss: I don't know how analogies work. Dilbert: I'm counting on that.

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers & peripherals, #frustration, #inventions, #no sense, #standard turing test, #upset, #company strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My software can't pass a standard Turing test yet, but it does pass the pointy-haired boss test. Computer, I have a question about our company strategy. Computer: Try working smarter. Dilbert: That doesn't even make sense! CEO: I wasn't prepared to like it, but you won me over.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #create itself, #execute, #executives, #obliviousness, #strategy, #succeed, #meeting, #emplyees, #discussion, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We can only succeed if we execute. Wally: How is that different from saying we can only succeed if we succeed. CEO: There's also the strategy. Wally: Does the strategy create itself?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assumption, #business ethics, #buy prodcuts, #corporate strategy, #corporation, #customer centric, #etiquette & ethics, #evil, #executives, #ideas, #marketing campaign, #monopoly, #needs, #needs of customers, #psychological manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I welcome any input on our corporate strategy. Dilbert: I think we need to be more customer-centric. CEO: You mean raise our prices? Dilbert: I mean focus on the needs of our customers. CEO: You mean we should be a monopoly so they need us? Dilbert: Um, no. We should find out what they need and then give it to them. CEO: They need to buy our products. Dilbert: They probably don't. CEO: So you're saying our marketing campaign should use psychological manipulation to make people think they need our products. You finally had a good idea. Dilbert: I'm going to stop talking now.

Dilbert Fixes Boss's Technology Strategy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Fixes Boss's Technology Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #verbiage, #technical, #jargon, #deception, #logic, #team player, #babble

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: fixed your technology strategy. I couldn't make it sound logical, so I buried the stupid parts under seven layers of technical babble. Add an irrelevant graph and no one will be the wiser... literally. Boss: Please stop being a team player.

Checking On Assumptions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Checking On Assumptions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #insult, #strategy, #managers, #underling

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I researched the assumptions behind your strategy and discovered they are unfounded. So I guess that means you will be changing your strategy. Alice: Did it make a difference? Dilbert: Yes, in the sense that he hates me more.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #illusion, #strategy, #business, #executives, #bluff, #bluffing

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Revenue is dropping, but don't panic. We have a new strategy that will fix everything. Dilbert: How do you know it's a good strategy. CEO: I can tell by looking at it. Dilbert: Why don't all failing companies create great new strategies and become profitable? CEO: Hmmm. Good question. Dilbert: Maybe it's because no one can tell a good strategy from a bad one, but acting like you know the difference gets you a bigger paycheck. CEO: I just need buy-in for the strategy. Wally: If you give me a raise, I can pretend to know it's good.

Make It Hard To Uninstall

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Make It Hard To Uninstall - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer service, #business strategy, #sales, #deception, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Don't focus so much on making the software do what our customers want it to do. Just make it hard for users to uninstall it. Dilbert: Why would they buy it in the first place? Boss: A big part of our strategy involves lying.

Boss Email Password

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Email Password - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #competition, #email, #obliviousness, #security, #strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need to find out who leaked our strategy to our competition. Alice: Is your email password still 123? Boss: Stop changing the subject.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #strategy, #variables, #forecast

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: my profit forecast isn't aligning with our strategy the boss: try adding some variables. dilbert: what kind of variables? the boss: the kind that make our strategy line up with our profit forecasts. dilbert: but...then my forecast would not be accurate. the boss: it's already inaccurate because no one can forecast complicated things five years ahead. the boss: if we can't be accurate, we might as well be wrong in a way that is good for us in the near term. dilbert: you make a surprisingly robust argument for evil. the boss: and i was barely trying!