Stretched Telephone Comic Strips - Page 7
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Carol says into the telephone, "And I'd like the copier repair guy to be a tall non- smoker with well-defined abs." Carol continues, "Oh. You're not a dating service, eh? Well if I give you money and you send some guy then it's just semantics." Carol continues, "And could you shave his back and oil him up before you send him?"
Carol is sitting in her cubicle with a regular telephone in one hand and a cell phone in the other. She says into the regular phone, "So I told him to stop making noises with his lips." Carol turns and yells into the cell phone, "Get the Scorpion King action figure away from your sister's barbie!!!" Wally and Dilbert are looking over a cubicle wall. Wally says, "Now she's also typing a personal message with her nose!" Dilbert replies, "It's a trifecta!"
Dilbert holds a piece of paper and says, "Your construction bid is the lowest so I have to award you the job." Dilbert asks, "When can your team of highly skilled craftsmen begin?" The beaver responds, "I'll call you." The beaver is leaning over a huge book titled, "Excuses." He says into the telephone, "Day one: My ex-wife set my truck on fire."
Headline: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert sits at his desk. The phone rings and Catbert thinks, "Evil." Catbert says into the telephone, "I'm sorry, I can't give references for ex- employees." Catbert continues, "But if I did, it would rhyme with 'mazy loron.'"
Headline: Meanwhile In Heck... Phil is playing poker with a snowman. Phil says, "You're on a winning streak, Snowball." Phil goes over to the thermostat and adjusts the temperature. He says, "But let's see what happens to your chances when I turn up the heat!" Phil says into the telephone, "That's right - the furnace is broken again!" Snowball says, "Four queens."
The Boss' phone rings and he thinks to himself, "Again? That thing rang last week, too." A telephone company representative calls the Boss. "Hello. May I interest you in long distance phone service?" The Boss replies, "How long is it?" The telephone representative answers, "Umm...it's very long. Extremely long." The Boss replies in a demanding manner with one arm thrust in the air, "I need to know exactly how long it is!" The Boss continues to say, "If it's too short I'll have to shout the last mile! I hate that." The telephone respresentative replies, "Okay...it's fifty miles long." The Boss responds, "No, thanks. I don't know anyone fifty miles away."
The Boss says to Carol, "Carol, from now on, I want a live person answering my phone." Carol asks the Boss, "What attracted you to that idea?" Carol continues, "Was it the inefficiency or the drain of morale?" The Boss replies, "Important executives don't use voice mail." Dilbert approaches the Boss and says, "I have some information for you." The Boss answers, "Call me." While standing in front of the Boss, Dilbert begins dialing his telephone number. Carol picks up the Boss' line and says, "He's not here. Do you want to leave a detailed message?" Dilbert answers, "Yes." Carol screams in the phone, "Well, you can't!!!"
Dilbert works in collections Dilbert says, "Please listen while I read this threatening script." Dilbert says, "I have hidden poisonous spiders in your home. If you pay us now by credit card I will give you the antidote." Dilbert says, "Okay, fine" Dilbert says, "But if you feel a tickle on your leg, give me a call."
Dilbert says, "My boss just told me that he changed my drawings for the smart phone before he sent them to you for prototyping." Dilbert says, "I was wondering if you're having any problems with it?" Man says, "The camera's a bit aggressive."
The Boss calls after Dilbert, "Dilbert, come here for a minute." The Boss and Dilbert are walking towards The Boss' desk. The Boss says, "I need to talk to you about..." He is interrupted by the ringing telephone. The Boss is on the telephone. He holds up his finger at Dilbert. Dilbert thinks, "He's giving me the 'wait' signal." Dilbert continues to think, "I have nothing to look at, nothing to fiddle with, nothing to do." Dilbert continues to think, "I'll try thinking about how my mind controls my muscles." Dilbert's arms start shaking. He thinks, "Uh-oh... I'm getting too conscious of my muscles and it's freaking me out." Dilbert falls back and exclaims, "Gaaa!!! I've lost my mind-body connection!!" Dilbert is on the floor with his feet up in the air. The Boss says into the phone, "The problem with my engineers is that they don't idle well."