Take A Stand Comic Strips - Page 7

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866 Results for Take A Stand

View 61 - 70 results for take a stand comic strips. Discover the best "Take A Stand" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2007's comic on:


Tags #dead horse, #interview, #offcie, #meeting, #chair, #not answering, #few hours, #secretary, #cancel other meetinsg, #take time, #business

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The Boss: "You have good experience as a dead horse, but can you take a beating?" "So, you think you can ignore my questions, do you?" "Cancel all of my meetings, this could take a few more hours."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2007's comic on:


Tags #staff meeting, #take an hour, #skip meeting, #agree to die, #earlier, #deadness, #haunt boss, #agreement

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Wally: "Your staff meeting will take an hour of my life that I will never get back." "If you let me skip the meeting, I will agree, to die an hour earlier to make up the difference." Dilbert: "He agreed?" Wally: "Yes, and I'm going to use that extra hour of deadness to haunt hum."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2005's comic on:


Tags #take the chair, #don't sell chairs, #sell hope, #hope of chairs, #ship in 2 months, #call and yell, #buy a chair

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SALE "I'll take that chair." "Excellent choice." "Now sit there quietly and try not to ask the one question that will kill this sale." "Is the chair in stock?" "GAAA!!!" "The truth is that we don't sell chairs at all. We sell the hope that a chair will someday be made for you." "How long will that take?" "If I could answer that question, it would be the same as selling you an actual chair." "How about if I tell you it will ship in two months, and you call and yell at me every three months for eternity?" "Did you buy a chair?" "There's no way to know."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2003's comic on:


Tags #nano bit project, #Dilbert, #take over, #everyone busy, #face in allaegators, #one cracker a day, #cracker time, #quitting tomorrow, #four problems

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Alice: "I don't have time to work on the nanobit project." The Boss: "No problem. Tell Dilbert I said he should take over." Two minutes later Dilbert: "I'm way, way too busy." The Boss: "Fine. Tell Wally to do it." Two minutes later. Wally: "I'm up to your face in alligators!" The Boss: "Okay, okay... hand it off to Asok." Two minutes later. Asok: "But already I only have time to eat one cracker a day." The Boss: "Tell Ted I said.." Ted: "Sure, I'll do it. No problem." Asok: "Mmm.. cracker time." Ted: "I'm quitting tomorrow." The Boss: "I solved four problems today!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2001's comic on:


Tags #advertise, #dogberts, #magazine, #piece of junk, #stand on head, #subscribe, #ten page ad, #totally objective review, #technology magazine

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Dogbert says to The Boss, "I'm a reporter for 'Dogbert's Technology Magazine'." Dogbert says to The Boss, "I'm writing a totally objective review of your newest product." Dogbert says to The Boss, "First question: Will you advertise in my magazine or is your new product a piece of junk?" The Boss says, "Um... We'll advertise." Dogbert continues, "Will it be a multi-page ad or is your new product a piece of junk?" The Boss says, "It'll be a ten-page ad!" Dogbert says to The Boss, "Can you stand on your head for an hour or is your new product a piece of junk?" As The Boss stands on his head, Dogbert says, "Would you like to subscribe to my magazine? It's ten pages of ads."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 2001's comic on:


Tags #inform carol, #whereabouts, #wandering around, #canceled policy, #stupid policy, #work for carol, #keeping track everyone

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Dilbert and Wally are facing The Boss at a conference table. The Boss says, "Yesterday I needed to ask Dilbert a question but I couldn't find him." The Boss' voice continues, "From now on, each of you must inform Carol of your whereabouts at all times." Alice turns to Wally and whispers, "Handle it." Wally walks past Carol's desk with a coffee cup in his hand. He reports, "I'll be wandering around with my coffee cup." He continues, as Carol frowns in the background: "If I find a newspaper I'll take a break in marketing's luxurious rest facilities." He continues, "Then I'll stop by the cute intern's cubicle to do some flirting." Carol sits thoroughly irritated and he continues nonetheless: "I stand in her doorway so she can't escape. I think I'm making progress." He goes to take a sip of coffee and concludes, "I'm becoming immune to pepper spray." Carol enters The Boss' office and says, "I canceled your stupid policy." The Boss continues to read the newspaper, unaffected.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2013's comic on:


Tags #animal costumes, #big game hunting, #costumes, #furry lifestyle, #go on safari, #take a trip, #like animals

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Boss: Carol, why did you send me a link about people who like to dress in animal costumes? Carol: It's called the Furry Lifestyle. I thought you might want to try it out. Boss: I'll take a look. Dilbert: What's your end game? Carol: If the Furry thing sticks I'll try to get him to go on a safari.

Won't Take No For An Answer

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Won't Take No For An Answer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #deadline, #honesty, #trick, #rejection

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Boss: Can you finish this by Friday? I won't take no for an answer. Dilbert: In that case, my answer is yes. Boss: I knew you wouldn't disappoint me. Dilbert: I think we just planned that for Friday.

Can't Take Vacation

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Can't Take Vacation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #company policy, #catch-22, #rules, #exception

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Dilbert: Our policy says I can't take my vacation until I complete all of my mandatory training. I can't take the fax safety class because it no longer exists. Can you make a policy exception for me? Boss: Okay, I won't force you to take a vacation.

Dilbert Wants To Take A Class In Negotiating

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Dilbert Wants To Take A Class In Negotiating  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #negotiating, #catch-22, #conference, #training

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Dilbert: I need your approval to take a class on negotiating. Boss: See if you can persuade me to approve it. Dilbert: I... don't know how to negotiate yet. Boss: That's the flaw in your plan.