Take Off Shoes Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for take off shoes comic strips. Discover the best "Take Off Shoes" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #netwrok administartor, #take down network, #keystroke, #being doctor, #goofy stuff, #paws

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Dogbert stands on a chair with his paw poised over the keyboard. Dogbert thinks, "As network administrator I can take down the network with one keystroke." Dogbert presses a key and the employees all scream. Dogbert thinks, "It's just like being a doctor but without getting gooky stuff on my paws."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #canceling life insurance, #Catbert, #evil hr director, #extend vacations, #family freindly, #no longer allow, #remove incentives, #time off for death, #kill relatives

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Catbert stands at his desk and types, "Effective immediately, the company will no longer allow time off for the death of a family member." Catbert continues, "This 'family friendly' policy will remove your incentive to extend vacations by killing relatives." Catbert continues, "And more good news: we're canceling your life insurance so your family won't try to snuff you out either."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frazzled, #meet deadlines, #all day meeting off site, #theroy, #more time to explin

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Dilbert tells the Boss, "I'm totally frazzled. There simply isn't enough time in the day to meet my upcoming deadlines." Dilbert's hair and clothes are disheveled. The Boss says, "Let's have an all-day meeting off-site so I can explain why the deadlines are so important." Dilbert says, "So, your theory is that I'll have more time in the day if you explain something I already know?" The Boss replies, "I don't have a lot of tools here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #off site meeting, #overworked, #invite staff, #discuss mission statement, #sack race, #state trooper, #shoot any animal

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Dilbert sits at his desk working and talking on the phone at the same time. The Boss asks, "Have you set up our off-site meeting so we can talk about how overworked you are?" The Boss continues, "I was thinking we should invite the reast of the staff, too. We can discuss our mission statement, maybe have a sack race." The Boss adds, "Did you know that if you're a state trooper, you can shoot any animal that's been hit by a car?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #let me telecommute, #called in sick, #total days off, #working for nothing, #ahead in principle, #stupidity is principle

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Dilbert, who is wearing a bathrobe, tells Dogbert, "I convinced my boss to let me telecommute." Dogbert asks, "How?" Dilbert replies, "Well, technically, I called in sick, which comes out of my time bank for total days off." Dilbert continues, "So, technically, I'm working for nothing, but I'm ahead in principle." Dogbert says, "WAY ahead, now that stupidity is a principle."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #family freindly, #policy, #childless people, #tax, #child care, #lower profit sharing, #time off, #pick up slack, #victim

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Dilbert tells Alice, "This so-called 'Family Friendly' policy is like a tax on childless people." Dilbert continues, "You get child-care; I get lower profit-sharing. YOU get time off for family; I get to pick up your slack . . ." Dilbert says, "I'm a victim, but in some strange way I'm enjoying it." Alice makes a fist and rolls up her sleeve. She says, "Then you'll love this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #discriminated against, #family emergencies, #ratted out boss, #family friendly policy, #love family

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Alice sits in a chair and Catbert sits on a couch. Alice says, "I'm being discriminated against because I take time off for family emergencies." Catbert replies, "I'll handle this by telling your boss that you ratted him out to the Director of Human Resources." Alice says, "I thought we had a 'Family Friendly' policy." Catbert says, "The key word is FRIENDLY. You've been acting as if you LOVE your family."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hearty slap, #practice swings, #visiting the customer, #smile, #less follow thorugh, #aim higher, #trans suddenly

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Kenny tells Dilbert, "When I introduce you to the customer, smile and give him a hearty slap on the back." Kenny says, "Get ready. Here he comes." Dilbert thinks, "I'd better take some practice swings." The customer lies on the ground. Kenny tells Dilbert, "Next time, less follow-through, aim higher, and if he turns around suddenly, hold off." Dilbert says, "Sorry."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #head, #Dogbert, #spin, #yergi, #elbonia, #elbonians, #visiting, #economy, #earns, #doctor, #year, #pair, #shoes, #philanthropist, #offered, #root, #buy, #man's, #dignity, #Kids, #meat

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Dilbert sits at his desk. He hears, "Ha ha! Now spin on your head! Ha ha ha!" Dilbert walks into the room and sees an Elbonian standing on his head. He asks Dogbert, "What's going on here?" Dogbert replies, "This is Yergi. He's visiting from Elbonia." Dogbert explains, "The economy in Elbonia is so bad he only earns three dollars a month as a doctor." Dogbert continues, "It takes a year to earn enough for a pair of shoes . . . It takes TWO years for a pound of meat." Dogbert continues, "Philanthropist that I am, I offered to give him an old boot if he would act like my trained monkey for a week." Dilbert scolds, "Dogbert! I can't believe you would buy this man's dignity for an old boot!" Yergi says, "I plan to tell the kids it's a pound of meat." Dogbert says, "Quiet, Bobo."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blowing off idiots, #information, #web page, #misunderstood

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Dilbert sits at his computer. Dogbert walks up and says, "I have a new method for blowing off the idiots who ask questions." Dogbert waves his tiny armsi in the air and says, "I say, 'That information ison my web page. Shoo, shoo." Dilbert asks, "What happens when they find out it isn't?" Dogbert replies, "I'll say, 'You must have misunderstood your question.'"