Test For Dugs Comic Strips - Page 7
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165 Results for Test For Dugs
View 61 - 70 results for test for dugs comic strips. Discover the best "Test For Dugs" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday May 03,
2018
Customers Work For Free
Tags #test, #big business, #money, #savings, #obliviousness
Transcript
Alice: Did anyone test our user interface before we shipped it? Boss: No, our customers will tell us what they don't like about it. And they work for free. Alice: That isn't right. Boss: That's what our customers say, too, and unlike you, they work for free.
Saturday October 13,
2018
Dogbert The Sociopath
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #test, #sociopath, #question, #lost, #interest, #end, #conversation
Transcript
Dogbert: I took a test to find out if I'm a sociopath. I got every question right. Dilbert: And by "right," you mean...? Dogbert: I already lost interest in your end of the conversation.
Sunday October 21,
2018
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #test, #scripts, #software, #project, #hardware, #tests, #version, #final, #release, #volunteering, #testing, #player
Transcript
The Boss: I need someone to run some test scripts on the new software. Dilbert: I can do that my project is on hold until the new hardware arrives. The Boss: Great, I'll need you to run the same tests on every version until final release. Dilbert: Um... I was only volunteering to do it once it isn't my job to do all the testing. The Boss: Too late. You're the test script guy now. Dilbert: You're adding an entirely new job to my existing job! The Boss: Don't you want to be a team player? Dilbert: Of course I do. The Boss: Good. I just put you on the losing team.
Saturday October 20,
2018
When Will Ted By Done
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #test, #data, #ted, #working, #done, #range
Transcript
The Boss: When will I get the test data? Dilbert: I don't know Ted is working on that. The Boss: When do you think he will be done? Dilbert: I know. I'm not Ted. The Boss: Just give me a range. Dilbert: Between one day and seven-hundred years.
Saturday June 27,
2020
Credible Data
Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #credible, #data, #problem, #test, #good
Transcript
alice: i finished the data throughput tests, but the results are not credible because of a problem with the test. boss: does the non-credible data make us look good? alice: yes. boss: our name for that kind of data is "credible."
Saturday April 22,
1989
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dogbert says, "I don't quite understand what scientific principle you intend to discover with a bowl of soup and a necktie." Dilbert waves his tie back and forth as he explains, "I'm testing the strange attraction between staining liquids and new ties." The bowl of soup flies across the table and spills on Dilbert's tie. Dogbert says, "I wonder how Newton missed this little gravitational oddity." Dilbert replies, "He didn't wear a necktie."
Thursday January 25,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #dying, #smart, #pap smear, #normal
Transcript
A doctor says to Dilbert, "It seems we had a mix-up with your test results." Dilbert asks, "Then I'm not dying?" The doctor replies, "We doctors are amazingly smart, but occasionally we make a little error." Dilbert says, "Well . . . I understand." The physician looks at a chart and says, "By the way, your pap smear was normal."
Thursday July 05,
1990
Tags #dinosaurs, #babysitter, #dinosaur, #emergency, #scenarios, #burglary, #injury, #poinsoning, #dial 911, #complete, #blank, #here
Transcript
Bob the Dinosaur sits across from a man and a woman who are interviewing him. The man says, "Before we hire you as our babysitter, we want to test how a dinosaur like you would respond to a variety of emergency scenarios." The man asks, "What if there's a fire?" Bob replies, "Dial 911." The man asks, "Burglary?" Bob answers, "Dial 911." The man asks, "Injury?" Bob replies, "Dial 911." The man asks, "Poisoning?" Bob replies, "Dial 911." The man asks, "Giant asteroid collides with earth and triggers an ice age?" Bob says, "Oh, wow . . . I'm drawing a complete blank here . . ."
Friday December 28,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #death, #partner, #automatic, #dentures, #willy, #wearing, #corn, #cob, #jacket, #unusual
Transcript
A police detective and an officer stand in Dilbert's doorway. The detective says, "We're investigating the death of you lab partner." Dilbert sits at a table with the men and explains, "It was the final test of the automatic dentures . . . Willy wasn't wearing his protective corn-on-the-cob jacket . . ." The detective asks, "Did you notice anything unusual?" Dilbert replies, "No, not really."
Monday February 18,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #gravity, #formula, #drink, #fly, #famous, #people, #shower, #praise, #admiration, #attention, #pathetic, #bid, #Dogbert
Transcript
Dilbert sits at a table and yells as a test tube flies out of his hands, "It works!! My anti-gravity formula works!!!" Dilbert continues, "If I drink it, I'll be able to fly! I'll be famous. People will shower me with praise and admiration!!" Dilbert sits on the wall over the television and says to Dogbert, "Notice anything?" Dogbert replies, "A pathetic bid for attention?"